[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

(Closed by JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive.)

The year was 2021, and Steve still couldn't fully grasp that it'd been almost three years exact that Thanos had his way with the world — they nicknamed the, classified as a natural disaster, as "the great extinction" or as Bucky jokingly called it; rapture.

Their lives, talking Steve and Bucky specifically in this instance, had never been normal, in the slightest. Growing up in the twenties and trying to conceal a forbidden relationship in the mid thirties, next minute they blink their eyes open and they're transported to a time not of their own. They were still adapting to the way civilization now was; just when they were finally starting to get the hang of how to use an iPhone (he always thought that was a weird name to call an electronic brand... Apple?) and update Instagram (Bucky posted photos of their cat while Steve sometimes uploaded blurry photos of his artwork), everything changed. And for the worst. The very worst.

Ever since Bucky found his way back to Steve, after years of being nothing other than a meat shield and tossed around under the hands of Hydra, the amount of therapists he'd seen was like a revolving door. Find someone that was somewhat decent but, one word and Bucky would be set off. The PTSD was already hard to deal with, but that wasn't the problem — he'd get triggered in the sense of... going full winter soldier on their asses.

Since coming back from the great beyond, there was a new layer of trauma added to Bucky's broken mind. And that hurt Steve every day, knowing his lover of eighty years was struggling every day. On the note of that, they had been together since they were sixteen/seventeen, but Steve had never made "the move" quite yet. He wasn't sure how to approach the situation, or if Bucky would even like the concept of marriage. It wasn't really necessary any more, but it might bring some normality back to them.

Earlier that day, Steve texted Bucky and asked him if he'd meet up with him at their favorite diner in Brooklyn for an early dinner; Bucky'd been out all day, doing something with Nat and the guys. Steve decided to sit the outing out, trying to calm his nerves the rest of the day.

And now, sitting at a booth in the dinner, he tapped his blunt nails against the table to his own annoyance. He could hear the front door chime open, followed by hurried footsteps.

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

This new world was a constant pain in the ass, even after the rapture had come and gone and things had settled down. He hated the electronics, even when they were useful, and he hated the media. Nothing was ever what it seemed. He hated the fact that so many people knew who Steve was, which sometimes made going out downright infuriating. Most of the time people either had no clue who Bucky was, or were too afraid to say anything to or about him. That was fine with him as the number of people he ever wanted to converse with could be counted on one hand.

Sharing Steve was the worst of all, even though nobody else got to be as close or sensual to the blond as he did. If Bucky could have things his way he'd just keep the both of them locked up together in a basement somewhere. With most major threats gone the world was in a solemn state of peace and mourning. Though several years had passed since the rapture its effects were still prominent. On the plus side, the world was now empty enough for everyone to have food, water, and shelter without much issue.

His day could be going better but Bucky couldn't complain too much; Nat was sassy and attractive and knew how to make anyone have a good time, even him. When she had first started trying to befriend him he'd been suspicious of her intentions until Steve had explained that she was his bestfriend (aside from Bucky himself, of course). She didn't want to befriend Bucky just to placate him, she legitimately wanted to form some kind of bond so there would be less distrust and unease between them. Her solution to his stoic stance was booze and trash talk. It worked like a charm every time.

Eventually Sam elbows him in the side and points out the time. Had he not Bucky might have been late for his date with Steve, which probably would have upset him more than the other man. He had tried countless times to 'lighten up' as Steve was always suggesting. However, it seemed impossible for him to keep up a happy facade even for a few days. Something or other always seemed to upset him, and he always tried to hide it to avoid bothering Steve, but Steve could read him like a book he'd owned since birth.

With only a bit of a stagger, as he'd tried not to get wasted despite Nat's best attempts, Bucky bids them farewell and heads out onto the street. The air is crisp and there's a bit of snow on the ground. Idly he checks his phone on the way, only a few blocks from the bar he'd spent the afternoon in. Though he looked a bit disheveled, as though he hadn't slept in days, the bags under his eyes gave him a ruggedly handsome look. Thankfully he was only tipsy and managed not to look like a hobo along the way.

When he goes to open the door a gust of wind slams it open, making a few people glance at him and instantly sparking anxiety. He feels his forehead wrinkle and hopes to high hell that nobody stares at him for too long. With much clumsy grace he brings his bulk over to Steve's table. Greeting him with a brief toothy grin he removes his jacket and takes a seat across from him.

"Well hello there sunshine," Even though he's not one to truly smile often a small, natural smile blossoms across his lips now that he's here. Everything was always better when Steve was around.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

"Hello to you too," he reached his hand across the table, nearly elbowing his half finished glass of water (all the ice had melted already). Sucking in his lips, he could feel the tips of his ears burning; Bucky still got him all flustered, even though he knew the man better than the back of his own hand.

Interlocking their fingers and with a sharp clear of his throat, he asked, "so, how was your day?". Adding faintly, "god, you're freezing."

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

The warmth of Steve's hand is gladly welcome, just as much as the glint in his eyes when he looked at Bucky. At one point in his life he had vowed to live alone until nature took him, but now he could hardly imagine being without Steve. So much so, in fact, that he had daily anxiety about losing him that he not-so-cleverly repressed with just the right amount of alcohol. Getting drunk was for alone times, not for precious moments like these.

"It was just another day. I'm having a lot of trouble filling my time up these days. I have too much of it on my hands, and nothing to fill it with." Except you. "Nat tried to get me drunk and spilled some tequila on my lap, so my apologies if I smell worse than usual. How was your day, dear?"

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

Steve didn't want to actually sniff him, but he couldn't help himself when his nostrils flared a bit. With his free hand, he leaned against the table and rested his cheek in his palm. "S'alright. This is the first thing I've done today, admittedly. Just spend the whole day at home, waiting for..." He tried to quickly redirect himself. "So, tequila huh?"

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

It doesn't slip past him that Steve clearly stopped himself from saying something. Waiting for what, for him? Surely it couldn't be that. He knew Steve liked him, a whole hell of a lot, but it was hard to imagine he could be the center of his world in the same way Steve was the center of his. Steve was the sun, blinding, beautiful, offering light to his dark little world. Just like the sun, every ray of sunshine he extended to Bucky could become potentially destructive. Though the blond had a kind heart he wasn't afraid to burn those who deserved it. After everything Bucky had done in his life, how did he not deserve to be burned?

"Sounds exciting." He pauses, torn between prying and playing it cool. He shrugs, partially to himself, partially to his partner. "She seemed to be extremely excited about something but refused to speak a word. Any idea what's gotten into her?"

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

Steve raised a brow, and only one. He knew it looked goofy, but he preferred the expression. He didn't mind making himself look like a total dingus in front of Bucky if it got him smiling. Brushing his thumb over the hairs on the back of his hand, he gave him a light squeeze.

"I 'unno. Think Clint's supposed to be in town soon, maybe she's excited about that." Steve's eyes traveled behind Bucky, focusing on a waitress making their way over to them. It was getting harder to keep his already shitty poker face, but he had to push through it. "You know what you want to order?"

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

It works like a charm; almost instantly the gentle smile is back on his features, though only briefly because he catches himself right away. Maybe if they'd been behind closed doors he wouldn't care, but his brain refused to let anyone in public see him sporting any emotion other than disinterest or annoyance. Nobody could know he had feelings and was soft. Nobody could know how thoroughly this man held his heart.

"Honestly I'd rather ditch this popsicle stand and make you one of my famous grilled cheese sandwiches. Not that hungry," But even as he speaks his stomach growls aggressively and gives him away. He hadn't eaten since last night, save for a handful of peanuts and some heavily alcoholic cherries. "Could we just share something?" Honestly, he hated picking out what to eat, always weary and untrustworthy of meal descriptions.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

"You know, they have grilled cheese here too. Not as good as yours, obviously, but," he winked, "quick meal, can have a slice each. That sound okay?"

Steve slowly turned his head, a woman with curled over brown hair standing beside them, a notebook in one hand. She honestly reminded him a bit of Rebecca.

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

Bucky gives her a brief side glance and grumbles. "Okay, yeah. Can we get a grilled cheese and some coffee here?" When he does look at her it's only to glare at her for taking up Steve's focus. That was the trouble with being out in public. Even when people weren't fawning over Steve there was always someone lurking around ready to deviate his attention. The waitress asks what side they want and he just shrugs and sighs as if she were a small, not particularly intelligent, child. He picks fries and hopes this is the end of the tiny unwanted interaction. She smiles politely and thanks them, even though Bucky was kind of being an asshole. Once she's turned and walked away he relaxes a bit and then the shame hits him. Good thing he didn't blush easily.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

"Hey," Steve said with a slight nod, and he could see Bucky's eyes settling back on him, slightly widening. Letting go of Bucky's hand, and with much hesitation, he pat the open space next to him. He scooted over, closer to the window; there was a slight draft and, he always was the one to get cold easily when they were younger (and he was much smaller), but now the cold affected him in a whole new way. An unpleasant way that got his mind racing.

With a quick blink, he licked his lips and said, "come here. I... there's something I gotta talk to you about." Sucking in his cheeks, "Nothing bad, promise."

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

For a few seconds his heart picks up speed as he thinks, just briefly, that Steve is going to tell him he's an asshole and finally be fed up with his shit. A few seconds later he's relieved to see the other man gesture for them to be closer. This kind of stuff he didn't care about being seen doing. He would smooch Steve in front of a bus full of nuns without a second thought. The dark haired man does as he's asked and scooches over to the other side, not in the slightest ashamed of taking up more space than he needed just to be a bit closer.

"The look in your eyes says you've been hiding a secret," Bucky leans in to whisper conspiratorially. "Nothing bad, eh?"

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

Knocking their knees together to better angle himself, Steve was uncomfortably shifting on the far too noisy vinyl covering of the booth. With a grip a bit stronger than he planned for, he was cupping the side of Bucky's rugged jaw, trailing down the beard he'd been growing out over the past few weeks. He always thought beards suited Bucky's face better.

There was a sigh, held back and soft as it caught in his throat. "Secret, yes. But, bad? I mean, I don't think it's bad, at least..." Steve knew he was stalling, could see Bucky knew too; his lips were sucked in and he was patiently watching him, but his bouncing leg suggested he wanted him to hurry up.

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

If it weren't for the two of them being in the midst of a crowd Bucky would have kissed him right then and there. PDA's, however, were another thing on the list of many things he disliked. Like everything else that involved Steve he just wanted to keep it all for himself. The way he's acting has Bucky sobering up a bit on basic principal. It had to be something serious if he wasn't willing to just say it outright. Steve had outgrown his shyness, for the most part.

"Whatever it is that you're worried I won't like, just stop now. It doesn't matter what it is or if I should be upset. Nothing you could do could ever drive me away from you." While PDA's may not have been his forte, tenderness for this specific person was. Bucky easily pretends the crowd isn't there and focuses on Steve with his usual dedication.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

Steve knew he was having trouble keeping his focus on Bucky's face, and instead of forcing himself to do something that would make this already awkward situation worse , he decided to be easy on himself for once and not force himself to meet his gaze.

Letting go of Bucky's chin, he scratched at the back of his own neck, brushing against short hairs. "Okay, well. There's no easy way to say this," he could feel his stomach clenching and it made him want to run to the bathroom and puke the little he had for lunch (for multiple reasons).

He lowered his voice and kept a steady tone. "You... you remember the last time we uh," he leaned closer to Bucky, now speaking in something just above a whisper, "had sex? And you didn't use, erm, protection?"

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

The whisper sends shivers down his spine automatically, but the words hit him like a brick when they register. Not because of the implications, but because of the fact that Steve had chosen a diner of all places to bring this conversation about. Then again, they had been a bit weird about sharing spaces the past while. Bucky found it hard to sleep or really exist around someone else for too long. Steve being the wonderful person he was never pressured him to stay over (or to stay over). They saw each other nearly every day but kept some time to themselves, if only so Bucky could brood alone.

It was difficult trying to love someone unconditionally and protect them from your inner demons. He was well aware the other man had his own darkness and that was why he didn't want to burden Steve with any more worry then he had to. "... Oh." Ah, such a clever and well thought out response. "Does this mean...? I mean, are you...?"

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

His overgrown bangs bounced with a fast nod of his head — fingers wrapping around Bucky's wrist, he carefully (and cautiously) brought the other man's hand over to his stomach. He'd been terrified to tell Bucky of his new discoveries, for he wasn't sure how to process the news himself.

Only the other day, Steve'd found himself hunched over one morning in his bathroom, practically on his knees as his knuckles turned white on the sink. It felt like his spine was caving in on itself; he'd had issues with his spine when he was younger, but this didn't feel anything like that familiar pain. Not only was his entire body aching, even his skin, but everything made him want to hurl. Especially bright lights. Fuck that noise.

He didn't want to even think about the possibilities of... what this could've meant. But, after a long panic attack and pacing around his apartment for a good three hours (and a long, frantic phone call with Natasha), he hauled his ass to the nearest grocery store. He had to be stealthy about it, wearing an oversized hoodie he had for some reason and an older baseball cap.

In his hands, he'd held a small blue box. He felt his throat tightening up as he slowly slid out a small white stick.

Two lines. He felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

"Buck, I'm p— I'm parsley."

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

The shock he feels is rather clear on his face, but he neither resists nor responds to the goofy confession. Bucky wasn't stupid, and especially with the intimacy implied by the gesture, it was all too apparent. They were officially with child and he was both thrilled and upset. He wasn't ready to take care of Steve as he should, how was he supposed to take care of a newborn? Yet Bucky knew he would never desert his partner.

His gaze slowly drops from the other man's cast down face to the stomach his hand lays upon. Even though he can feel the hard, warm muscles beneath the fabric he swears to himself the change is real. That he can smell the very tiny lifeblood of their very tiny, hardly existing yet child.

"Oh Steve," It's more of a sigh than anything else but not in any way harsh. He just nods slowly to himself but before he can add more, a plate is set before them, along with the coffee's they hadn't received beforehand. Silently he waits for her to leave. "How, uh, how does this make you feel?" He was careful to keep all excitement and anger contained. He figured being the guy he was Steve would want to keep it, but on the off chance he didn't, Bucky didn't want to guilt him.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

"Honestly," with the back of his palm pressed to his mouth, he pushed the plate away with two fingers. Just like any light that seemed to blare down directly on him, smells were also enhanced and drove him insane. "It's terrifying. I don't really know how to feel about it yet. But," he was pawing at Bucky's gloved hand, tracing down the metal ridges he could feel under the fabric.

"Doesn't have to be though, right?" Steve was trying to force himself to smile, show off those dimples he was proud of. But, he couldn't.

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

Rather than intertwine their fingers he goes two steps further by putting his arm around Steve's shoulders and giving him a reassuring squeeze. "No, it doesn't. Especially if you don't have to go through it alone." The food lay before them entirely untouched for several moments while he traces along Steve's jawline with his eyes. Then his stomach grumbles again, loud enough that he glances around briefly.

Much to his dismay, there are a couple of people glancing their way. Bucky ignores them and turns his attention to the grilled cheese and tries to eat it without being impolite. He was going to have to make some changes, changes that would put his personal interests on hold. Right now it was okay for Steve to be alone sometimes but eventually he would need to be watched over and attended to. As big and strong as he was, pregnancy was a bitch to bare. "Well... guess we should start making plans for the future, like where we're going to shack up and whether or not..."

He pauses thoughtfully and finishes the last of his sandwich. He had been about to speak about marriage, something neither of them had ever mentioned and seemed to avoid in casual conversations. Commitment was a strange and bumpy road, and though Bucky was fairly sure most of the time that Steve loved him, he couldn't help letting bad notions get the best of him from time to time. But if their love could withstand the trials of time then surely it could withstand this.

Besides, didn't people always say having a family brought people closer together? He wouldn't know, he couldn't remember much about his family. In his mind Steve was his only family now but soon... there would be another.