[Please Stand By]

I wear a backpack to haul my stuff around most of the time, including when I teach (college students). I hate that really awkward time just before class when I'm sitting there staring at my students and waiting for it to be official class time, so I try to show up to classrooms just when it's exactly official class time. One of the buildings I taught in a few years ago actually had bells, like high school, so I timed my arrival to coincide with the bell ringing.

One day, I got to class just in time and shrugged my way out of my backpack. As I did so, I managed to unhook my underwire bra in back. As I dumped the backpack on the table by the podium, I could already feel my now-unfastened bra starting to creep up. I froze. The bell rang.

So now class has officially started and I'm wearing an unfastened bra that does not YET look disastrous, but I know I've probably only got about two minutes before my boobs start looking really weird, because there's going to be an underwire crossing them in the middle as the elastic straps haul up on everything.

"Excuse me for just a minute," I told my students, walked out into the hallway, and put myself back together just out of sight. (Bra re-hooked, boobs stuffed back into it.) There were a lot of students walking by watching me do this with semi-horrified looks on their faces - but none of them were MY students, which is the important thing.