F2M

[zacklovesmpreg]

Anyone else ever thought what it would be like dating a female to male with working parts?

[rubmybelly42]

Yeah, a bit. It would be something else to be in a situation like that.

[zacklovesmpreg]

I dunno I think it would be cool lol but more if I where in a serious relation ship and he was ok with bearing kids, even tho becoming f2m usually means not wanting anything feminine

[Faunus]

I dunno I think it would be cool lol but more if I where in a serious relation ship and he was ok with bearing kids, even tho becoming f2m usually means not wanting anything feminine

I've got to chime in here, because it definitely relates to some personal experiences and decisions in my past. (If anybody's heard this, cause I think I went into detail once before, and I'd go delete my post if I knew where it was... lol... but if you know this already, just skip reading. :P)

Let me just give some supportive evidence for what I'm going to say:

I had wished I was a boy throughout my childhood. When clothes shopping, there was nothing intentional about believing that the clothes in the boy's section were for me. Boys didn't flirt with me in school because I didn't wear makeup, brush my hair (I hated that my mother wanted it long) and I didn't act like a girl at all. I was OBSESSED with the catching of bugs, snakes and spent time on the playground avoiding others. It was just as well to me that my boobs were taking their time to grow in.

I experienced crushes and attraction well before puberty, I was attracted to cartoon characters and some live-action characters regardless of gender, so I'm transgendered and bisexual, though I've been in the closet about any attraction to girls with members of my family.

So if I were a transguy, I wouldn't be totally straight, but I am definitely masculine in style and the way I process things. I can't imagine what I'd be like if the female hormones took a back seat, LOL, because I don't try not to go with them now, but I'm sure testosterone would feel like FREEDOM!

So getting on with it... when I was 17 I asked my cousin (best friend at the time) what she would do if I got a sex change. She said "I would NEVER talk to you again." I asked her if she was kidding and she told me if I tried to talk to her, she'd mutilate me with a baseball bat or something to that extent... so I got the point.

Five years ago, these feelings resurfaced with a vengeance; I blew up a 7 year relationship and turned full on transguy. I was going to get approved to start taking testosterone, I was in the wildest hottest relationship with a girl and I was happier than ever. We had talked about kids, kinda joking yet, but she asked me, because of her weak heart and hormone imbalance, if I'd be willing to carry a child, even after my transformation. I am cool with birth in and of itself. I like to witness pregnancy more than I knew I'd enjoy it, but I sure didn't want her time in this world to be shortened by anything.

Well, she had a religious crisis, and it wasn't a noisy, bitchy thing the way it ended. She just wasn't being true to herself, repressing her faith to be with me, apparently. Well, months later, when the T was almost in my hand, I was begged by a guy friend not to change. He wanted me to give him a chance. ...He was nine years older than I, educated, mature, confident, patient, and he liked himself and knew himself in a way that qualified him to my highly picky list of... qualifications. When was I going to find such a good candidate again? So it was only fair, but it sure was painful to hold off on the transition.

Well, now I'm married, I have a daughter, and I still want to smash my reflection and take it out on my husband but I don't. He's been better to me than any man or woman ever has been, and tells me every day what a "man" I am, lol. He loves it as long as I don't grow facial hair. And he's mentally gender reversed in many ways of his own, (metro/musician) so we both make a great androgynous couple spiritually.

Anyway, the point I'm getting at in all this is... Getting pregnant and having a baby wasn't emasculating to my transguy side - I'm assured in my sexual identity, but the being a mommy part and all the changes after she was born were hard to cope with after my hormones went "back to normal." The femininity spell wore off and I kinda felt like I needed a serious shower, LOL. Sometimes I think about the chops I'd love to grow, the chiseled physique I'd get at the gym, running and lifting weights and feeling like a GOD...! *sigh* If a great spouse weren't enough to stop those agonizing thoughts in their tracks, my daughter is the very incarnation of anti-regret.

[Kilix]

Wow Faunus, that was very insightful. It's interesting to hear about the gender identity issue from the opposite side of the spectrum. The whole "wanting to smash a mirror" thing stood out to me a lot, because I strongly wish my own body was more feminine. The difference, and I can't help but wonder if this is directly related to or indicative of our gender identities, is that I didn't respond with anger to my own reflection so much as depression and hopelessness. Now, I've reached a point where I am just trying to live with my body the best I can, and mentally framing it for myself as the problem that everyone has to varying extents with their own bodies. My Domme, for example, is a very, very large Woman who has struggled with self-image problems in the past. Overweight people tend to be aggressively or vehemently unhappy with their bodies, much like myself, regardless of why. Re-contextualizing it this way helped me come to terms with my own body and accept it as it is, even if I'm still not too keen on having boy bits, not unlike how many plus-sized people feel about their own bodies (they accept it and love themselves, but do still try and change when they reasonably can). I wouldn't mind changing reasonably either towards femininity, such as light makeup use, maybe some small breasts, and eliminating body hair (seriously, even from a masculine perspective it's a pain in the ass. Shaving my face alone adds 30 minutes to my routine every day I have to do it, let alone my extremely wooly arms, legs, chest, and happy trail).

Also... am I the only guy in the world that doesn't have a problem with facial hair? I mean, I've seen women with facial hair before; sometimes significant amounts of it, and to me it didn't even register. I've seen women will full fledged beards and still thought they were attractive. I'm not specifically attracted to it; I just really don't care.

[darkfanboy]

@Faunus - You sound exactly like my wife. And I've been in the same boat as you for as long as I can remember. Gender confusion sucks. I would gladly trade places with my wife in our relationship if I could. Not just because I want to bear children into my family, but because when I see a woman I'm jealous of every thing she is. I've struggled with it too and resigned myself to being male after being outed by a family member to my mother. Though it always seemed apparent my mom wanted a daughter she got me and my brothers. I don't feel diminished by my lifestyle choice but it always lingers there in the back your mind, I should have done it. And also, as long as she still was mostly hairless and largely effeminate, I could have been gay for my wife. Its odd the things we do for love.

[Faunus]

Wow Faunus, that was very insightful. It's interesting to hear about the gender identity issue from the opposite side of the spectrum. The whole "wanting to smash a mirror" thing stood out to me a lot, because I strongly wish my own body was more feminine.

Also... am I the only guy in the world that doesn't have a problem with facial hair? I mean, I've seen women with facial hair before; sometimes significant amounts of it, and to me it didn't even register. I've seen women will full fledged beards and still thought they were attractive. I'm not specifically attracted to it; I just really don't care.

I'm so sorry you struggle with this, Kilix. I wish that the process of a sex change wasn't so simple for transguys... just take T and voila. Convincing transformation 99% of the time. I sometimes wish the option would go away so the nagging hope would leave me in peace.

And HA! That bit about the facial hair is awesome. Makes me want to stick some of those fuzz they use in movies on my face. Really though, that's kindof unusual! Bearded women look odd to me, but if they are trying to be men... I guess that's hot... now I'm confused, lol. Reminds me of this vid that made my heart pound like crazy, lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wjg_pmdX8no

@Faunus - You sound exactly like my wife. And I've been in the same boat as you for as long as I can remember. Gender confusion sucks. I would gladly trade places with my wife in our relationship if I could. Not just because I want to bear children into my family, but because when I see a woman I'm jealous of every thing she is. I've struggled with it too and resigned myself to being male after being outed by a family member to my mother. Though it always seemed apparent my mom wanted a daughter she got me and my brothers. I don't feel diminished by my lifestyle choice but it always lingers there in the back your mind, I should have done it. And also, as long as she still was mostly hairless and largely effeminate, I could have been gay for my wife. Its odd the things we do for love.

To both Kilix and Darkfanboy: It's really great to share these feelings with others who know the pain... I didn't realize how many others like me I'd meet in an mpreg forum. What I find interesting is that you are both men who don't mind feminization at all and want to be pregnant. I think that zacklovesmpreg is right that many transguys covet their manliness and see any act of femininity a threat, but I can say, as much as I failed to get off on being pregnant despite my fetish, I had no probs with it beyond the discomfort and shyness, lol. And I remain transgendered, even if I decided to stay female.

As for that bit about doing crazy things for love, Darkfanboy, I fantasize that my husband would still be with me if I got a change... I know he'd love me but I don't think there'd be any more sex. He's very strongly hetero. No more sexual compatability would be pretty much a bomb in everything. I struggle with nightmares and stuff on bad months. Maybe if I sneak images of me photoshopped as a guy in on him enough he'll get used to that version of me... I am not sure if hope is healthy or not here. Also not sure if going out and jogging, would more than clear my head, get me in shape to like myself. Or would that be the gateway to a growing problem... like a drug?

In my unlived fantasy though... I wanted to be with a girl or guy, and be male myself. I'd feel damn accomplished if I had a baby as a man, and there's a spark of hope in me that I'll get to change and try that out, LOL.

My advice to a gay guy who wants an F2M man so they can have a genetic child and share the experience of bringing life into the world... get on youtube. There's TONS of transguys on there. Big movement of them sharing transition blogs. ;) There's more F2Ms than ever.

[darkfanboy]

@Faunus - I don't think sneaking around anything helps. My wife was always heavy into yaoi but not truly mpreg. She does seem enjoy the intamacy of ut now, but we don't have time to RP anymore. I sort of snuck up on her dressed one evening, but I had breasts and it did very little for her. Sometimes all we really can do is find love where we can and enjoy the therapy and comfort of other like-minds. I still think I could be bi somedays, but being in a strong relationship has quelled that. Though if my wife magically becomes the sexy man she dreams of, who am I to object. Who knows, that same magic might bring us children as well. I'm also quite sure we hijacked someone elses thread again my dear faun.

[Faunus]

@Faunus - I don't think sneaking around anything helps. My wife was always heavy into yaoi but not truly mpreg. She does seem enjoy the intamacy of ut now, but we don't have time to RP anymore. I sort of snuck up on her dressed one evening, but I had breasts and it did very little for her. Sometimes all we really can do is find love where we can and enjoy the therapy and comfort of other like-minds. I still think I could be bi somedays, but being in a strong relationship has quelled that. Though if my wife magically becomes the sexy man she dreams of, who am I to object. Who knows, that same magic might bring us children as well. I'm also quite sure we hijacked someone elses thread again my dear faun.

LOL <3 Really though, all I can say is you are cool and understanding. Whatever happens, it sounds like you guys are a fantastic team.

[Kilix]

Faunus, I watched that video... cursed eyebrows. They're the only part of my face that's overtly masculine (unless I'm in need of a shave).

And can I just say I think I speak on behalf of all people, men and women, everywhere, when I say the sooner science comes up with a PAINLESS, instant way to remove body hair (legs, face, or anywhere else in no more time than it takes to brush your teeth in the morning), the better off we'll ALL be. I guess I should just be thankful humans ended up with the least hair of all primates LOL

Seriously though, I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm starting to not really care about what other people think of my gender. I mean, I am who I am, and if you don't like me or choose not to associate with me because of it then we couldn't have ever been real friends. Hiding it from people only means my relationships are, at best, shallow, and any relationship (be it a friendship or something more serious) isn't a healthy one if I have to have a facade up all the time. This is helping me come out of my shell a little more when it comes to my identity. My Domme still doesn't seem to like the idea of me doing it more in public, though. She says it's because she doesn't want to have to punch someone or cut a bitch for looking at me weird or making fun of me, which is just an instinctual reaction for her around me. Personally, I can't help but wonder if there's another reason why she doesn't want me to, which I've brought up with her, but she's never been dishonest with me before so I'll take her word for it.

[sgonvw]

I response to Zack's original question, I only began thinking about this when Thomas Beatie started talking about his pregnancy. Before then I was barely aware that F2M transexuals existed. (In fact I'd even met one without knowing he'd been born female.)

As a gay man, I've never felt attracted to a person I could identify as female. Yet, the penis is not the primary thing that draws me to men. It's something hard to pinpoint, because I don't like hyper-masculinity either. I'm drawn to guys who seem like "typical guys," whatever that is.

So if I met an f2m transexual who really seemed male, I think I might be excited at the fact that he could potentially bear my children. Unless somebody really blows me away, though, I think I'll keep it simple and continue to look among anatomical men.