Closed Beloved teacher (w/lovebite)
Jacques smiled a bit seeing Frank willing to share the baby with his mother. He squeezed on Frank's thighsshowing his thanks. To have compromised and agree to acting was one thing, willing to let his mother holld the baby was another thing. He rubbed on the tiny forehead and the dark brown locks of Duncan and smiled seeing his mother's face of surprise and joy. "Come on mum, take the baby, I know how you always boast about how good you handle babies even though i didnt get to try out how well you are indeed." Jacq didnt arrive this house until he was 5, before which he had no memory whatsoever.
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Frank didn't look to Jacq when he squeezed his thigh, not to be obvious as he leaned into his partners embrace more like an actual loving couple. Not to say he didn't love him, he did, though with all the adversaries they faced he wished to just forget that true love even existed. Duncan had settled and was drooling quietly on his birth fathers shirt as he rubbed his back softly. The older woman was smiling as she reached out for the baby, he took a breath and gave their son over without much struggle. She gathered the baby into her arms and grinned down at him,"Hi there, darling... So handsome..."She bit the inside of her cheek, almost tearing up at the ability to hold something so small.
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Jacq was equally touched. He knew his mother's inability to produce her own child was the biggest lamentation of her life, and een though he had been trying, he couldnt turn back time and become a baby again for the lady. He smiled loking at the cozy scene and rubbed on Frank's arms, more like unconsciously doing so than anything. He was so absorbed in his own actig that at this moment, he had forgotten that everything was bound to end thr moment they stepped out of the door of this house.
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Even when they were on their way to leave, packing Duncan and the left overs Ashley stacked up high for them into the car before saying goodbyes and hugging the elderly couple. Well, Jacques mother at least, his father was still obviously bias against their relationship yet he loved his son just as much as his mother did and would support him even when he didn't like the reason. Frank sat in the front of the car now, beside his partner since the baby was sleeping soundly after so many hours at his grandparents house. The man gripped the seatbelt, making sure it wasn't digging into his middle as he leaned almost with his back against the door,"They were nice."He murmured, he had taken another few of his pills before dinner, yet after so much time over their place the pain was coming back again. "I'm glad that Duncan has such a loving family on your side."
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"I never knew about your side. What's your family like?" When Jacques recalled he remmeber Frank's house lacked family photos and he didnt really hear his soon to be ex-lover mention about his own family. He started the engine glancing at Frank and the baby, then pulled out of his family house swiftly after waving thr final goodbye with his parents who were still watching from the doorsteps. "By the way, i want to apologize for my father. He waa usually much less cynical. Dont be intimidated by his stern looks, he's just one big softie."
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"My fathers run off when I was ten, we just came back into contact yet I haven't spoken to him still... My mother takes care of herself in my old childhood home."He shrugged, sitting back as he ran a hand up his shirt to play with his stitches,"I have a brother and a sister, but the only chance I see them is if Mom remembers to make a holiday meal and invites everyone for leftovers the next day."He laughed softly then at how pathetic his family was as he shook his head,"turning to look at Jacq,"Is that what you wanted to hear me say?"
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"It's not what I wanted to hear, more like what you wanted to share. I didn't really want to pry into your private life, I just wanted to get to know you better. It's the same reason for me to want to introduce you to my family. I wanted you to know me better. Oh well, anyway. It isn't important anymore now." Jacques finally said, falling into silence though he kind of had a better idea on why was Frank so cynical about all "family" stuff with his background.
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"If you didn't want to pry then why ask?"He replied, though soon felt bad about saying so as the other revealed what he had meant by wanting to know about his family. The professor frowned slightly as he looked away, resting a hand on his wound and laid his head against the window for a few silent moments. Until he said something out of character,"I've messed up... I just..."He sighed and looked down then over at his partner,"If we do this... If we go our separate ways... When I think about it, my body aches and I just want to make it go away... But if we're not together it won't ever go away."He looked away again and his brows creased in the middle as he rethought what he had said,"Do you understand?"
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Jacques bit on his lips hard, hard enough that he was sure he was drawing blood heraing Frank's harsh comment. He couldn't look at Frank now, or he would have thrashed out. thought he eventually couldn't resist and huffed out. "Yea sure you do. You messed up, big times. so what now? You are saying you wanted us back together again?" Despite his annoyed attitude, the faint hope in his words was still obvious. He almost wanted to kick himself for always getting false hopes up, just like before when Frank said they could co-habit, which got him all riled up. too bad he was dumped right after that. Jacques felt so patehtic of himself.
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Frank shook his head, he didn't mean to go that far, all he meant was to make sure Jacq knew why he did this to him, not to make his life horrible. "I wanted to say that I do, really, truthfully, love you."He turned to look at him as he reached to place his hand on the others,"And if you ever forgive me... Not now, but maybe when I get myself together, we can do what we dreamed of."He squeezed his hand and played with his fingers as he brought the hand into his lap,"We'll move out of the city with the baby and start a real life together, just...not...right now, Jacq."
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Jacques almost couldn't see the road with how his eyes become tear-filled. He stomped hard at the brake and pulled his hand back. "I do not need your pity! Do not even try to make up some lie about 'get yourself together' bullshits. I can take it I assure you. Just tell me you don't want a shit with me and let me go. You have so many months to get yourself together since you knew about the pregnancy, and you are still not ready enough with Duncan here. I am pretty sure you never wanted us together. YOu are so ashamed of the pregnancy you attempt to hide it so hard, with such a dear price paid. ...If you truly want us together, now is the time. Or never." He said, angrily wiping away the tears in his eyes. He calmed down a bit and stormed through the road, no longer wanting to be breathing the same air with Frank. He stopped at the door of his house and said without even looking at Jaques. "I hope we come up with a visiting arrangement later. I think everything could be settled through texts."
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Frank was shocked by the anger, he hadn't expected it as he looked at Jacques when he snapped at him, frowning at the other as he yelled at him. His eyes narrowed when he was done and he had so much to say to him, it all just built up as a lump in his throat and he refused to cry as he simply looked away. When they got to his apartment he opened the door and turned to him, slapping him across the face,"Fuck you."He got out and hurriedly opened the back seat to get his son out, grabbing the diaper back too and kicking the door shut,"I don't want to see you again and I don't want Duncan to either, don't even bother."He turned away to stomp up to his doorway, the baby had begun to whimper at all the screaming and negative emotions. As he made it into his house, slamming the door one last time.
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Jacques was stunned by the slap. Had he been able to recover faster, he would have stopped Frank from just taking the baby. Likewise with Frank, he didnt want to see this hypocrite any more. At this point, all he wanted to take from this relationship was the right to see Duncan. He got back to the car, holding back the "fuck you" about to burst from him, and stormed off as well. He went to the little grave he made for their other baby. He didnt let Frank knew from how he rejected the idea, though he wanted to do something for this little life who had left them much too early. He wept in front of the grave, both for his ill-fated son and the end of his relationship with his birth father.
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Frank didn't know what he had just done, his stitches were aching and he was just so sad and discomforted that he didn't know what to do with himself, he sank down to the floor against the door with the baby beside him as he pushed his face into his hands silently. The baby had quieted back down, he was such a good son, he didn't deserve any of this and yet Frank had brought him into it, so soon at that and alone without the brother he had shared pain with from what the professor did to them by binding himself up. Everything seemed to come crashing down on him like a tidal wave and he sobbed into his palms for a good few hours until he ended up falling asleep there on the floor, cradling the baby's carrier close to himself, he would make it up to him no matter what it took. It was just them against the world now.
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As soon as Jacques could calm himself down, he retured to his empty and lonely dorm. He didnt know how he could survive it but he knew he would. He decided to delay sending the text to Frank demanding for visits until tomorrow, whem hopefully both would be calmer. He touched on his cheek that still had phantom pain from the slap and decided to sleep on everything.

The next day it took a lot of effort for Jacques to send the text asking for visitin schedule, right before his shift at the clinic started so he wouldnt be able to keep looking at his phone expecting for a reply, which he wasnt even sure if Frnk would give.
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It didn't take Frank long when he woke up the next morning to get a bottle set up for Duncan as he sat with his son at his office desk, rocking him slowly with the bottle tucked beneath his chin as he held him carefully in one arm while he typed an email with the other. An email detailing his leave of absence and probable transfer of universities, the latter part struck him in a place deep in his chest and he almost began sobbing again right then and there, though he kept himself silent and looked down at Duncan as he fell asleep in his arm slowly. Was moving the best thing for them? Maybe it was. 'Don't worry, buddy... Don't worry."He murmured, even though it was more like he was comforting himself, until his phone vibrated and he even jumped a bit at the sound before hissing at the tugging at his stitches with the movement,'Damnit..."He murmured and panted softly, he needed more pills, the man picked up the phone and checked his notification with his free hand though with the sight of who the text was from he frowned for a long moment. Then sent,'No. I-'He deleted it, but then put the rest,'We're moving.'
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Jacques didn't see Frank's message until the end of his 8-hour shift, and it shook him to the core with how Frank just announced his plan to move. He wasn't prepared to part with Duncan, and he was pretty sure Frank would just drop out of radar had he really executed his plan to move. He didn't know what he should be doing. Should he go to Frank's place to ask? What could he be asking? On why was he leaving? He chewed on his fingers, some bad habits he had long grown out of. He sat at the locker's room, feeling like an abandoned pet. He pondered and decided to pursue on the subject. "What are your plans? I would be Duncan's father no matter what, and I want to visit him at least once a week." He hesitated by still sent the message anyway.
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Frank shoved a few pills into his mouth and shuffled out of the bathroom, scratching at his stitches carefully and passing by Duncan's crib as he looked in on him, leaning forwards to stroke his hair while he slept and smiling softly while leaning against the crib. He sighed quietly while watching him for a long moment, he took his phone out to take a picture of his son but ended up opening Jacq's texts,'I dunno.'He pressed his lips together,'Anywhere else... I-'He stopped texting and erased the last word before continuing,'I don't want that.'
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It's driving Jacques crazy when his dreaded wait was rewarded with an "I don't want that." What did frank want now. He bit his lips harder pressing down the hurt he felt at the pain arising from it. He pulled on his hair and wanted to scream in frustration for such childishness from Frank. He typed and deleted multiple times before settling on "Duncan's my son. It's my right to visit. He deserved to have two parents." He kept his fingers crossed that frank would return to some sense. He grabbed his bag and took off, ready to confront Frank even though it would probably end in some more fighting.
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The professor didn't reply, he simply took the picture and stared for a bit longer before rising up to his feet again with a heavy sigh, going to put a meal in the microwave for himself and fix a bottle for Duncan when he woke up. When the food was fully heated, he picked it up and went to check his email, though when he went to refresh the page he heard the car door slamming outside and lifted himself up to his feet once again. The middle aged man chewed the bite he had put into his mouth and came over to pick up the baby as he stirred, shushing him quietly and kissing his head softly as he grabbed the still warm bottle, not knowing that Jacq was heading up the stairs at this very moment.
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