C The Wild Wedding of Steve and Bucky

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

It was almost like a natural response that, at the slightest of touches, Steve always found himself leaning into Bucky. Ever since they were practically in diapers, they'd always found ways to stay as connected as the hip as (literally) possible; shared the same bed for sleepovers until they moved into their own shitty shoe box of a place at nineteen. Steve still vividly remembered working his skinny ass off in high school, getting into any AP class he could only for the sake of actually spending more time with his Bucky — since Bucky was a year older than him, it's not like they had many shared classes. He took Russian, Steve took French, but they both shared the same history and advanced algebra classes.

Another, overly, vivid memory of Steve's was his familiarity with Sister Mary's wooden ruler. It's not like religion was ever forced on him, but coming from a strong heritage of... Irish immigrants who still spoke Gaelic even when company wasn't around, they naturally held onto their faith as well. Steve was raised Catholic, and that probably lead into the reason why he never outright told his mom how he felt about Bucky. Or they'd been sneakily sleeping around and double-dating constantly in the attempts of trying to have a normal relationship or whatever, which each other.

He got caught kissing his "best friend" in a utility closet in one of the empty activity rooms at his church. Though Bucky came from a completely different faith, he still dropped by every Sunday after service to get an ice cream with Steve and chat. Steve always had that spark in him, of wanting to rebel and act out, sometimes only for the shock value and urge to spite others. So, naturally, after an hour of being explained to ten different reasons homosexuality was a sin he found himself more than a bit pent up with anger.

Took Bucky's hand into his own and dragged him down the hall. When Sister found them, it was a blessing she didn't tell their parents, or report them to the cops even.

Steve tried clearing his thoughts. Some memories were still coming back to him as well. His mind wasn't as muddled and played with as Bucky's, but he could feel his body's age from time to time.

"Whether or not?" he questioned, rubbing small circles down Bucky's thigh.

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

While Steve is lost in memories for a moment Bucky finishes the sandwich and downs half the coffee. Perhaps it was time to leave; no, it certainly was past due for an exit. They were about to have a somewhat awkward conversation.

Even though it was evident to both of them, as well as those around them, that there was a deep connection between the two they never really talked about it specifically. They talked about many things and clearly gave each other signs of gratitude and reassurance but such things as defining the borders of their relationship never mattered. So, he digs in pocket for some bills before gesturing to the door with a brief nod.

“We can talk about it somewhere else don't you think?” This was an important moment that he hoped wouldn't be too stressful for either of them. His only regret was being unprepared for this exact event even though in retrospect it had been bound to happen sooner or later.

As they leave the diner holding hands unabashedly, he huffs a sigh if relief. Outside the cool air makes him feel a little less flustered. In fact, Bucky feels more confident than anticipated.

“We can make it work, if you want to. Whatever is best for you is what I want.” Finances and resources were not particularly a problem these days. It was strange that some positives could have come from the devastation Thanos had wrought. “But we should postpone letting anyone else know until we are somewhat prepared. The last thing I want is baby festivities shoved down my throat.”

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

Giving Bucky's hand a gentle squeeze (and with a slight shiver, because now it was even colder out in the open breeze), he practically forced out an awkward laugh only to make himself feel a bit better. One hand in his pocket and his thumb was brushing over the edge of a small item; thankfully his pockets were large enough that Bucky couldn't see the outline of the box poking against the fabric.

"You really wanna live together?" Steve had finally said, coughing a bit after the words left his throat. And with a small shake of his head, he continued, "No, of course. Anyone to worry about when it comes to baby fever is Nat. You know she loves babies. She'd probably try throwing us some elaborate party, and you know how those always turn out."

With a tug, he pulled Bucky across the street, leading him down the empty pathway of a park. The ended up alongside the water, the twinkling lights of the New York skyline reflecting almost dreamily so.

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

There was no legitimate reason for Bucky to hesitate in his response. If he weren't secretly such a wreck they likely would have already been sharing a space, but he needed that alone time once or twice a day or he'd flip shit. It wasn't that Steve drove him crazy (maybe a little bit) but rather that he knew he couldn't always contain himself. It would be a shame to unload even more emotional burdens on the other man after all this time of swearing he was better off than he truly was. Probably Steve even knew he was lying half the time and was just too considerate to start a fight about it. Anything Bucky chose not to tell him must have a good damn accompanying reason.

He doesn't notice the slight change in their walk, or rather just figures Steve's feeling sentimental. All things considered, he couldn't blame him. Even Bucky's mind kept slipping into memories. It felt like this kind of thing should have happened sooner.

"Of course I do. We spend most of our time together anyway, I mean, it shouldn't be too hard to adjust to?" Except for his awkward sleep schedule, his crybaby walks at 4am, and his feigned apathy towards anything involving his mental health. Things only worked so well between them now because Steve was kind and understanding, but if he ever caught Bucky having a breakdown he'd probably never stop fawning over him. And that would get annoying very quickly.

"I guess the hardest part will be getting used to having no--" He'd almost said freedom but that wasn't the right word. Having Steve take up all his time and attention was not a bad thing. "alone time. You know me, sometimes I don't really... feel the whole socializing thing, but you're not like everyone else." Then Bucky laughs and gently elbows Steve. "And I don't know if I'll ever get used to having Natalia around. Once she finds out she's going to be overall the damn time." Though it sounded like he hated her, he didn't, he just couldn't handle her for prolonged periods of time. Especially when she was excited about something.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

He stopped the both of them almost too abruptly (why was he always so damn clumsy), his hand firmly cupping the nape of the ever-so-slightly shorter man's neck, fingertips brushing against the roots of his overgrown hair. There was a boat lulling by and, honestly, it was a bit eerie. At one point in time, he would've appreciated a bit of silence to, the once overpopulated, New York. But now, he found himself craving for more sound; even a birds chirp was rare to come across nowadays. He'd noticed, when he was walking to the store one day, some shops placing speakers outside their windows, playing dull pop tunes or even general white noises just to make up for the abundance of silence.

"Buck," he was trying to keep focused on his face. "You ever need to be alone, you let me know. You remember our safe word? Feel like I'm buggin' ya or, just need some time to think, I'll know what you mean."

But just as soon as he was holding onto Bucky, he let go, deciding to fold his arms over the metal railing beside the river. He quickly glanced down at his pocket, mostly out of habit and as a precautions factor; if he dropped that into the river, he'd fucking scream. Literally.

He crossed his hands on top of each other, hunched his back slight and huffed. His bangs were starting to bug his eyes, so he squinted. "Yeah, she will," he wanted to laugh, but it didn't feel right, for some reason. Felt like he lacked the energy. "I'm real scared about this, Buck. 'bout bringing another life into this fucked up world. Almost feels... irresponsible."

[JamesBarnes_BiggestBoyAlive]

The idea of using a safeword in regards to having time alone amuses him greatly. Aside from the double entendre of using a safeword outside of the bedroom, the mental image of he and Steve sharing heated words only to toss out a "broccoli!" and storm off makes the seriousness of marriage seem just a little less daunting. Although Steve looks troubled Bucky can't help but sigh in relief when he admits to being scared. That made two of them. One day he'd have to grow up and stop running from his problems because he couldn't just have a safe word with his kid too. That was weird.

"Yeah yeah, alright, I'll try that." He felt a bit ashamed to even need time alone, but he was thankful as ever that his partner understood him better than he himself seemed to. "I'll have to get it sorted out sooner or later." By it, he means everything he's been ignoring and avoiding. One couldn't just take an unannounced break from being a parent, it would be a full-time job for both of them. Providing food, shelter, and other basic necessities were the easiest part, particularly given the fact that now there wasn't a shortage of anything and thus everything was dirt cheap.

"Look to the bright side sweetie, for now, the world is in the most peaceful state its been in for centuries. No more war, no more racism, almost no poverty; everyone is getting the resources they need to grow and live. Sure there's still bad people out there and some potential threats, but we aren't alone as defenders." Thoughtfully, he brushes Steve's bangs aside, though they fall right back into place a moment later. "You're telling me you don't think Nat would go to any and all extremes to help us protect this little critter?" He briefly caresses the stomach of the other with the back of his hand. "Maybe ten years ago it wouldn't have been a good idea, but now...? Now, this guy actually stands a chance."

Having never, ever thought he would be a father Bucky is a little surprised at just how attached to it he already is. The fact that Steve was worried just made him want to do everything in his power to eliminate those feelings and give him a safe, comfortable place to nurture their child. "Anyway, you're going to make a great father, everyone saw this coming years ago. And I would rather die than let anything bad happen to you, but I promise I'll only leave that as a last resort. So, try to stay positive, okay?" He wasn't that good at pep talks so, hopefully, he had said at least one correct thing.

[SteveRogers_andhiseggs]

"You've been through a lot, though, Buck. You don't gotta rush yourself to... try to move past what happened," he craned his neck, meeting Bucky's silvers. He felt himself relax, maybe not instantly but Bucky's touch was more than soothing — he hadn't even noticed every muscle in his brawny body tightening, but he too, was always a bit on edge.

"I'm just..." now he felt his eyes closing and twitching, his forehead creasing before he could even complete his sentence. His mind was formulating pictures and vague memories of the horrors the "Avengers" faced during that grim time (calling them the Avengers was a joke, but there wasn't any better word to describe the group).
Bucky was right though — there was a lot of good that came from the snap. Although there were close friends they'd lost, and many who were still recovering from losing their loved ones permanently to dust (Sam helped run a support group for those who lost family members and friends during the snap), they also didn't have to hide and live in secret anymore.

Too many years Steve spent dashing from one shitty motel to the next, fighting over broken computers and faulty connections just to see Bucky's face for a sliver of a second over Skype. He was glad those days were behind them. And, that Nat finally went back to her red hair; that style suited her the best, he thought. They always made fun of Sam for not joining in and also going blonde to match the pair.

"What if he comes back, y'know? I get that we're probably better off now," Steve took a step to the side, invading any remaining personal space Bucky had left, leaning into him. "But, there's always that... I'm always scared that somethings gonna happen and he comes back, or something worse shows up. I don't — want our fucking child turning into dust. Was hard enough seeing that happen to you."

Steve had to catch himself. He'd been holding his breath. "I'm tryin' to stay positive, that fears just always in the back of my mind," he gestured loosely before he cupped his hand over Bucky's.