07-25-2018, 03:31 AM
Amid the conversation, Herek thought back on his real life. Here, among the city, some people stated how he looked rather familiar. They didn’t connect that he might play professionally overseas because why would he be a visiting professor among other things? That and, surely someone like him wouldn’t get pregnant. He just played it off. Souza wasn’t even his last name professionally even. It was Larracuente, but that was neither here nor there. Before him, with Mason, he could naturally be himself for a few.
He listened in as Mason spoke of his own current situation. Herek had witnessed Mason before be a bit more open about his sexuality in such a short time. When it was his start in the Spring semester, Mason seemed a bit more reserved. Come this Fall semester, he was open about everything, asides from a few nervous matters here and there.
“Is that why you didn’t want to go back for the holidays,” he inquired. “Because of their disapproval? Not prying, rather understanding. It gets toxic trying to live a life for others you know that deep within, it's hurting you. That’s often how hate continues, in a way, people who haven’t been able to heal from their own wounds internally that it turns out into something else and the next thing you know, we have people who are racist, numbskulls who don’t exactly read the Bible well and much worse.”
He chuckled. Herek was indeed a religious man. He had to figure things out for himself though as life was all about learning. When Mason asked about if Herek thought of ever getting pregnant, he shook his head.
“Not at all,” he continued in between a sip of the cold tea he made for dinner. “Believe it or not, news did not travel fast enough to Brasil. I was out partying in celebration of a World Cup victory. Got a bit drunk and into what most call their feelings and wanted to see where it would go. I don’t even think their father knows is how rough that night was. Didn’t even get his number as we were both so nervous it happened that we got dressed quickly and bailed. Two weeks later, amid the news finally coming out, I was a bit nervous and kept trying to assure myself that there was no way I was in that windowframe of the virus. Another two weeks, I’m finding myself extremely sick in the morning and unable to do my morning routines and now, here I am.”
He shrugged a bit as he ate some of pasta. “I guess in some ways, I’m like you, trying to find my place in the world where there’s less and harsh judgement. Coming here where everything is a bit more open is nice, but let’s just say most men I’ve come across see the bump and think they’re not ready for children. News Flash: I’m not exactly ready either, but I’m learning to live with it because I wouldn’t want that hatred to rub off on them or even do something I would regret because I had to deal with what most call personal shame. I’m learning to be more content with the things I cannot change.”
He listened in as Mason spoke of his own current situation. Herek had witnessed Mason before be a bit more open about his sexuality in such a short time. When it was his start in the Spring semester, Mason seemed a bit more reserved. Come this Fall semester, he was open about everything, asides from a few nervous matters here and there.
“Is that why you didn’t want to go back for the holidays,” he inquired. “Because of their disapproval? Not prying, rather understanding. It gets toxic trying to live a life for others you know that deep within, it's hurting you. That’s often how hate continues, in a way, people who haven’t been able to heal from their own wounds internally that it turns out into something else and the next thing you know, we have people who are racist, numbskulls who don’t exactly read the Bible well and much worse.”
He chuckled. Herek was indeed a religious man. He had to figure things out for himself though as life was all about learning. When Mason asked about if Herek thought of ever getting pregnant, he shook his head.
“Not at all,” he continued in between a sip of the cold tea he made for dinner. “Believe it or not, news did not travel fast enough to Brasil. I was out partying in celebration of a World Cup victory. Got a bit drunk and into what most call their feelings and wanted to see where it would go. I don’t even think their father knows is how rough that night was. Didn’t even get his number as we were both so nervous it happened that we got dressed quickly and bailed. Two weeks later, amid the news finally coming out, I was a bit nervous and kept trying to assure myself that there was no way I was in that windowframe of the virus. Another two weeks, I’m finding myself extremely sick in the morning and unable to do my morning routines and now, here I am.”
He shrugged a bit as he ate some of pasta. “I guess in some ways, I’m like you, trying to find my place in the world where there’s less and harsh judgement. Coming here where everything is a bit more open is nice, but let’s just say most men I’ve come across see the bump and think they’re not ready for children. News Flash: I’m not exactly ready either, but I’m learning to live with it because I wouldn’t want that hatred to rub off on them or even do something I would regret because I had to deal with what most call personal shame. I’m learning to be more content with the things I cannot change.”