[mannluvv]

Does anyone else feel like they have to put on a fake face around the family they grew up with? I would say that when I was a kid I just lucked out and had a family that let me be who I wanted, but really I think it was more to do with the fact that I was morally in sync with my family then. Now I am in a gay relationship, I am no longer an Evengelical Christian, I don't like just sitting around watching TV, and I like to spend my time off work with a beach ball full of water strapped to my stomach (the jerks for not approving of that last one ?). But I have to pretend I am who I was in high school, even though I am out to all of them, because they don't like who I am otherwise. They are uncomfortable, or they think I'm wrong, or Mom thinks she failed as a parent. I can't even talk to her about sex or relationship advice because she isn't ok with homosexuals and thinks sex before marriage is a close 3rd most abominable act behind being gay and murder! Idk why I spend so much time with them, it just stresses me out. It stresses my boyfriend out, too, and it makes me hate the holidays because it means I have the option to be stressed out with them, cross the country to be with my boyfriend's family (who love the shot out of me) and deal with the fall out of not spending time with my family, or be alone... I can't be the only person who feels like this.

You definitely aren’t alone. I come from a very similar family. However I’ve learned to limit the amount of time I spend with them and try to focus on my happiness. They think they’re setting a good Christian example by being so judgmental. In truth they are only refusing to explore and understand something they don’t understand. Fear causes people to do very hurtful things. Never stop loving them but don’t feel bad if you have to cut them off at times to preserve yourself. ((Hugs))