Martin shrugged his shoulders "I don't care about this stuff... Hell, my apartment isn't all that much better, Ezra." Martin said quietly, rubbing his forehead as he sat down on the couch again "We live in a small two bedroom apartment. Neither of us have room to stretch out."
Martin sighed loudly "Yeah, I have a stable job that will always be there for me - but it's not glorious, and it definitely isn't 'fun'; we - I - struggle to make ends meet almost every pay period, because my pay barely covers the cost of living..." He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly; he had no idea why he was explaining all of this, it wasn't like Ezra was actually going to care about how bad off he and their daughter really was "It probably doesn't even matter anyway - unloading all of this information on you... We clearly have no real connection, other than High School..."
He looked at Martin as though he would ask him for money but realized that he might not be sitting on his couch for money. Maybe he actually wanted to tell him about that little girl who lived for eight years without him so he could actually be a father. His hands ran through his hair and he sighed,"Fuck." He knew it was too late to be complaining about the mistakes they made when they were younger,"I've got a kid." He said, sinking down onto the couch beside him as he looked at him,"We've got a kid... Christ." He rubbed his face, it was a wake up call, he felt like he was still dreaming even though he was awake,"If you think I can't help, or don't care then why did you show up here?" He asked him, meeting his eyes again,"You can't just come here and drop a load like this on me and just...expect me to not give a shit."
Martin sighed heavily as he pulled his wallet out again and pulled a slew of pictures out, making the once puffy leather material flatten just slightly, although it was still bent out of shape from being so old and used. He started laying the pictures out one by one on the coffee table - they were quite literally from the time their daughter was born, until just a few weeks ago with school pictures.
"I don't want anything of yours, Ezra..." Martin said quietly, pointing to the pictures on the coffee table in turn "I just want you to get to know your daughter, let her have a complete and loving family - even if we can no longer see eye-to-eye on things, I think we still need to be a cohesive unit for her..." He held up the latest image of their daughter and sighed quietly "Her name is Eliza Naomi Trudeaux... She would have had your last name... but, because I didn't know if you would ever be apart of her life... I didn't do it."
There were at least eight of the pictures, one for each year of the little girls life, he rubbed the back of his head again as he looked over them all. Almost uncomfortable about how much time he missed and even without her being there he was worried about what she might think or ask him. The girl took after them both, but her skin tone was obviously his, along with her long dark, curly hair, he looked to Martin again when he spoke and he brought up the most recent picture. Martin loved her completely and he wondered how their lives would have been if he had stayed on the straight and narrow, he took the picture and looked at it closer. "I don't know if you made the right choice. Coming here might have been a mistake on your part."
"I don't usually make the right choices, Ezra." Martin admitted quietly, lifting the first photograph ever taken of their daughter - it was just days after she was brought home and she was wrapped up snuggly in a pink swaddling blanket "Coming here was probably the best decision I made with my life, other than keeping Eliza..."
Martin shook his head and set the photograph back down and hung his head to his chest "Our daughter needs both of her father's in her life, Ezra... Please tell me you understand that? That you want to at least *try* to be in this beautiful little girl's life?"
The man looked at the photos a bit longer, he was maping out the girls life, how she grew and how she looked like both of them now as he thought about it more. He looked at Martin and he wanted to take a chance and try and become close to him once again for their sakes and their daughters as he looked to the photo again. "Of course I understand that. I just... I'm giving you a chance to turn back around and walk out, because my life isn't going to he easy to adapt to having a kid." He said,"You know that." Resting a hand on Martin's thigh and squeezing as he looked at him,"But I'll try and do better, for her. Alright?
Martin looked down at the hand on his thigh, and then back up at the man it was attached too "I don't want to turn back now... I'm already here." Martin said quietly, moving closer to Ezra and setting his own hand on the other's thigh "Our daughter needs us, two parents, willing to do what they can to provide for her."
Fingers inched a little higher on Ezra's thigh and Martin smiled lightly "And she also needs two parents who happen to be happy, on the same page, and willing to fight for *her*. She needs us, Ez... She needs us to be the parents we should have always been..." Martin licked his lips - quite honestly the men were closer *now* than they ever had been in High School - that had usually just been about sex, nothing ever remotely intimate, but Martin was finally looking for something more. Was he barking up the wrong tree? Probably. But this was his daughters father, and who else deserved that role, other than Ezra? No one.
Ezra was glad that his hand wasn't brushed away as their eyes met and he knew Martin was serious as they sat there, he nodded,"I don't want you to go either." He said and his own hand crept up his thigh, leaning into him as well and looking over his face. The man was exactly the same man he remembered from years ago,"She doesn't even know me." He said and he looked down,"Why would she let me into her life." Ezra had no idea about children, that he was wrong about her actively trying to shut him out, she was eight not eighteen. He didn't take much time between then to lean in and press his lips against the others, his eyes closed as he did so.
Martin wasn't even barely shocked when Ezra kissed him - they had always moved fast, even back in High School. They had a higher connection to each other than any other student, maybe even any other person, in the world. Martin reached up with his free hand and held onto the side of Ezra's neck, deepening the kiss happily as his tongue slid out to play with Ezra's.
The kiss only lasted a few moments, but to him it felt like the entire world stopped for hours, maybe even years as their lips and tongues played together. He pulled back slowly, but kept himself close, forehead pressed right against Ezra's as they shared each slightly labored breath with one another.
"She'll love you, Ezra" Martin whispered, voice slightly hoarse from the raw emotion already building up in his system "She's just a child, and she will love you..." Martin wanted to say more, wanted to tell Ezra that he knew Eliza would love him, because Martin already did - and whatever Martin loved, Eliza loved... But it was probably too soon to go that far.
Ezra relaxed as their tongues met and he sucked on the taste of Martin, he could tell that the other man was older than the last time the had kissed as he broke away and their noses touched. His hand had moved to his waist and he held him close, nosing him just a bit as his eyes closed, he nodded,"Thank you for coming here." He pulled back to look at him and looked back to the hallway briefly,"Listen, I... I want to meet her and I want to catch up, but give me a minute. Okay? I've got a few things to do before I can go with you."
Martin nodded and smiled softly as he reached up, fingers gently tracing Ezra's cheek and then up into the man's hair "That's fine. Take all the time you need..." Martin whispered and leaned in to softly peck Ezra on the lips again. He felt about as light as a feather, as if a weight - a serious one - had finally been lifted off of his broad shoulders.
He followed Ezra's gaze and wondered if he had possibly interrupted something, but even if he had - it wasn't a concern. Ezra had a life outside of Martin and Eliza just a few moments ago, and Martin had come here unexpectedly and unannounced "I'll uh... Do you want me to wait here, or would you rather I go wait outside? Or... whatever you prefer..."
Ezra nodded and leaned in again to kiss him, holding his waist still and moving closer as he pressed himself against hom, kissing him deeply so their tongues slid against each other. He sighed as he broke away again, looking at him for a moment and then standing up to his feet,"No. Not here. I'll go wash up and meet you outside." He told him,"I've got someone in the back. Don't be mad, it's nothing serious." Ezra stood up afterward and ran a hand through his hair, looking back to the hall again though and lucky enough the person hadn't woke up and came out of the room,"He's a bit fucked up though, so it might be a little bit."
Martin stood up and shrugged his shoulders lightly "It's okay, Ezra. I understand that you had an actual life going before I decided to just... drop all of this in your lap." Martin said quietly and leaned over to plant one last kiss on Ezra's lips, a smile on his face "I'll be outside waiting for you - I'm driving a red Crown Vic... It's just across the street."
After that, Martin left, leaving behind the five case-files as well as the eight photographs of their daughter. He marched down the steps at a steady trot and headed across the street. Once he was in his car, he breathed out shakily and held onto the steering wheel tightly - that had been the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life... and he hoped that all would work out for the better.
Ezra looked at the other and he chuckled just a bit with a nod,"Yeah..."He agreed and he closed his eyes to the third kiss and he nodded, watching as Martin left his apartment and he let out a heavy breath he had been holding in. The revelation sinking in, he moved then to head into the back again and open up the bedroom door, looking at the naked man sprawled out in his bed and knowing he had to kick him out for the last time. He did so, not easily, but soon enough a redhead stumbled out of his apartment complex, still struggling to put his belt and coat on, tears coming down his face but he kept walking down the street without a look back. After a few moments, Ezra followed and he glanced down the street at the walking man and then over to Martin as he jogged across the street, not fully dressed in clean dark jeans and a tee shirt despite it being the low sixties, he half-heartedly smiled at Martin,"Ready."He said and went around the car to the passenger's seat.
Martin pointed over his shoulder with his thumb, at the man still slightly stumbling down the sidewalk but at a much further distance "Nothing serious, huh?" Martin asked quietly as he reached to turn on the engine of his Crown Vic. He put the windows up and cranked the heat to get the brief chill out of the car "He was sobbing his eyes out, and you look like you lost your best friend..."
Martin was an observant man, obviously, otherwise how would he have gotten so far in his career? Sure, he may be a little corrupt, but he was good at what he did. "I don't want you changing your lifestyle for me, Ezra. If you and he had something going... Then that's cool.. I don't want to disrupt your life completely... I just want you to get to know your daughter - I'm just collateral damage at this point. Take me or leave me, but she is the most important factor here."
Ezra rubbed the back of his head,"No. Nothing serious." He replied, trying to reassure Martin as he climbed into the passengers seat,"He'll be fine. We smoked together, one thing led to another and we were together. But not together together." He waved his hand, looking briefly to the rearview mirror where he could still see him sulking off, he shrugged a shoulder and looked back to Martin,"I mean, I've got to do a little bit of changing if I want to be a dad." He said and nodded his head, looking out the window again as he sat back for the ride.
Martin wasn't entirely convinced of Ezra's statement, but there was nothing more he could do now - and he certainly wasn't about to go and talk to the redheaded guy, convince the two to get back together... Martin was selfish in that regard; but he didn't let it show or affect him as he started driving back towards his apartment. Ironically enough, Martin lived just a few blocks away from where Ezra did, and neither man even knew it.
The apartment looked old and decrepit, much like all of these older buildings did in this part of town - it wasn't exactly the safest neighborhood either, so it helped that Martin was a cop and no one really messed with him or Eliza.
Martin parked his police-issued cruiser in his parking space and sighed tiredly. He glanced at the clock display in the dashboard and cursed loudly, slamming his palm against the steering wheel. "I got *so* fucking caught up in everything that happened... I didn't even realize just what time it was, or the day..." Martin said, pointing to the display "It's nowhere near time for Eliza to be comin' home from school... We have three more hours!"
Ezra was definitely saddened by what had happened, he thought that Jacob would have taken it easier and yet he stormed off barely dressed. He felt bad about kicking him out but he couldn't leave him there, he trusted him but not after what had happened. Not with all the cash and drugs in his apartment that the other guy definitely knew about. He'd have to either mend things with Jacob or move to another place. He frowned lightly at the major changes that would be coming to his life, he wasn't much of a fan of changes.
As they drove, he realized that they literally just drove a block or two away and pulled in front of another old apartment. Impressed by how long they had lived basically so close and yet so far apart, he tried to remember if he had ever seen the two of them just walking but he wasn't sure. As he looked at Martin when they stopped, raising his brows when he cursed and hit the wheel, unsure of why he was so upset until he explained.
"It's fine." He said and smiled just a bit,"You could give me a tour of your place? I'm sure you've got more pictures of our girl." The other man leaned against the center console,"Three hours aren't that bad. We have a bit of catching up to do."
Martin nodded slightly and shut the engine of the Vic down "You're right... Eight years is a long time missing." Martin said quietly; he wasn't sure what exactly they could catch up on - Martin's life was exactly what it was. With a sigh and a shrug of his shoulders he got out of the maroon vehicle and started toward the apartment's front doors.
He waited until Ezra joined him before buzzing himself in and then headed up the stairs at a rather slow pace - the wallpaper, likely a hundred years old, was peeling and smelled moldy - the stairs creaked with even the slightest amount of pressure... The building was a dangerous hazard, falling apart at the seams "Told you it was pretty crappy..."
He finally got to his apartment - fifth floor walk-up, and no elevator in sight - and opened the door slowly. It too creaked in protest. The apartment that Martin lived in however, was actually quite nice looking on the inside - it looked freshly painted, although didn't smell it, with a bright and vibrant yellow color. The floors were buffed and cleaned, unlike the scuffed up floors that stopped at the doors threshold "I had to put a lot of work in to get this place... at least *my* apartment, safe for Eliza... She deserved to sleep in a place that... well... essentially wasn't going to fall down on top of her."
Ezra opened up the door and stepped out of the car, following Martin up to the apartment complex doors, he looked around the place as he walked up the stairs behind him. He was surprised that he had finally found an apartment shittier than his own as they kept walking and walking. Five flights, how could anyone do that day in and day out,"God. No wonder you have such a great ass. Walking up and down these stairs every day." He complained lightly from behind the other man, huffing as they made it to his floor finally and stopped in front of the door.
When Martin opened up the door he was surprised to see such a well kept apartment, it was cramped but it seemed they made use of the space they had. It was more well kept than his own place, he rose a brow and looked to Martin,You've done a good job at that then. It looks like you opened a door into a new world." He said and walked into the place, slipping off his boots politely and looking around the living room,"I like it.