[Goddess]

I keep wanting to reply to this but my answer would be pages and pages.

Maybe I'll try to sum up...

I instigated and desired sex (and more) with other girls for years and years before it even crossed my mind that there was a word for what I was doing or what I was. (It's harder to explain my feelings for boys growing up...I definitely liked them, though, but mostly just in relation to mpreg LOL). There are two distinct times I remember being conscious of my actions being "wrong" but mostly it was just something I wanted and so I did it. I had no intention to be rebellious or naughty or something and I had no idea men thought two women together was sexy or whatnot.

I was raised very religious and was always taught that gay people were doing evil and I even got in arguments with people about how being gay was a choice and they should stop sinning, all the while I was doing it myself. I guess I just compartmentalized it.

My point is that it was so innate and instinctual from such a young age, even KNOWING that it was "wrong" and even being taught on a regular basis that it was sinful and that it was a choice, I STILL did it almost unconsciously.

I still wanted a relationship with a man and so I dated my boyfriend Matt, but it wasn't until I met my husband that I felt a real love and lust for a man in the way I felt it for girls. (I'm not saying I'm lesbian, though, because I don't know what the hell I am)

Then, there was a big huge crazy twist in my story.

After giving birth to my son my personality completely changed. I started to enjoy things like clothes shopping, dressing up, buying shoes, doing my hair, being trendy, doing my make up on a regular basis, even my taste in music shifted.
And at the same time my interest in men shot straight up and my interest in women faded significantly.

I started to see men as sexual and enticing where before I'd only seen the male body as kind of weird and interesting lol.

I know this sounds totally strange, and I can only assume it's some bizarre hormonal shift from pregnancy or something. Maybe this type of shift is only possible in people who have tendencies toward both male and female??

I have asked several people about this and nobody so far has experienced it, except, actually my friend had a little girl and she said her interest in women got way more intense after giving birth. So, her experience was exactly the opposite of mine. I'd like to talk to someone who understands how the body works regarding all that weirdness, or maybe just find someone who has had such a big change like that. I'm afraid I'll seem like a liar or something, especially since I've now realized a lot of girls call themselves bisexual when they're young and then "grow out of it."

I started to think my interest in women was totally gone, but I have this friend who I'm crushing on pretty hard, so apparently it's not totally gone LOL.

My point is that this experience has proved even more to me that it's not my choice.

Neither of those experiences were a choice for me. I was just along for the ride.

I do agree though, that what you do with those feelings is a choice. For example, my mom's best friend was a virgin by choice until she was 47 years old.

There are Mormons I know (I was raised Mormon) who chose to only date the opposite sex even though they weren't attracted to them because they wanted to be "righteous."

They did it, but it didn't change any desires within them, and in my opinion it is harmful, especially being totally abstinent.