Mpreg Central

Sean had just bought some viagra for tonight, but didn't know they were contaminated.

He thought nothing of the fact that everyone in the community had been watching their medications very closely these days. His best friend Ivan was already in the car, shovelling down his bag of skittles


"Dude, how can you trust that shit any more? Havent you heard about the class action suit against the big pharmaceutical companies going on?"

"No, I have not." Sean replied.

"Oh my god dude, pick up a newspaper from time to time. After that huge incident at the nuclear plant took out half the Midwest, the government has pretty much been drugging guys so that WE can get pregnant to re-up the population!"

"Plus, what makes you think u need that anyway?"

"Yeah, you're right." Sean threw the box of Viagra away.

"Dude..! What a waste! Starving men with erectile dysfunction in Africa would kill for that, and its just lying on the side of the road now! Okay, okay, I'm just giving you shit...but seriously..." Ivan puts a hand gently on Sean's thigh. "We gotta be careful. You ready to head home?

Sean nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

"That's what I thought...you know I don't wanna be a jerk, but have you been drinking more often?" Ivan nodded his head towards the slight paunch in Sean's middle that he hasn't really notices until he watches Sean walking out of the drugstore. "I mean, I wouldn't be pissed if you're drinking, I'd just be pissed if you're drinking WITHOUT me!" Ivan grinned and his forest-green eyes flashes mischievously.

Sean smiled. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

They pulled into their crappy little complex where they shared an apartment on Chicago's west side, ignores a junkie panhandling on the front steps, and went inside.

"You may as well pour me a glass of wine to make up for your insolence!" Ivan joked, pulling of his coat. His shirt rode up a little as he did so, exposing his well-defined abs.

Sean nodded and poured a glass of wine for Ivan.

"Aren't you gonna join me for a drink?" Ivan stared skeptically as Sean reaches for a regular cup from the kitchen cabinet for himself and teach for the faucet. "What are you doing, stop!" Ivan tried to rush over before Sean could take a sip of the tap water, but he wasn't quick enough. "Dude, no one drinks that shit anymore! For the exact reason no one buys over-the-counter pills anymore! Or did our previous conversation just kinda bounce off your eardrums and right back out?"

*reach for the faucet

"I didn't know we couldn't drink water either." Sean said.

Ivan sighed. "Going back to my previous comment about reading a damn newspaper: I know there's nothing but bad fucking news and no one wants to read that. But the entire country is at a point now where we need to be paying attention!... How long have you been drinking tap water for anyway? I always buy bottles..."

"For weeks now." Sean replied.

Ivan shook his head condescendingly. "And I assume you've seen Roxy recently?" Roxy is Sean's recent fling, nice girl, but a horny little thing.

"Yes, I have." Sean replied.

"Dude, I'd reconsider what u think that little belly may be coming from." Ivan gave Sean a friendly poke in the gut, swigged his wine, and headed to his bedroom. "You may wanna give her a call...and use rubbers from now on!"

(OK, I'll switch and be Roxy if u wanna go that way. I'm great at acting lol)