[heavilypreggo]

"Fine, she can stay." I sighed, I was still skeptical about her but I could never say no to his puppy eyes. And maybe she's telling the truth because there's no other werewolves nearby meaning she came here alone. Dinner was abit awkward, I didn't know what to say to her, mostly they're discussing about the babies.

We had no other room so she had to sleep on the couch, I waited till Tavian was asleep and then I walked to the living room to have a word with his sister. "I'll let you stay here for now and try to be civil to you but if you are so much as thinking/trying to mess with my family, I promise I'll make your life a freaking hell and I won't care that you're Tavian's sister. Ont more thing, you must not tell Tavian any of this."

- Month 4 -
She'd been here for 2 weeks now and things were so far so good. She even helped around the bakery because lately it seemed all my baby did was either sleep or eat, I didn't mind though. Growing babies was hard work.

She's also developed a weird cravings for gross stuff, she even asked me one time to bake him a banana & sardines cookies with pickled onions on the side. Everytime he satisfied his cravings, I wouldn't let him kiss me afterwards and he'd pout, it's so cute.

Don't get me started on his belly, it had reached a full term belly size for normal humans. He waddled when he walked and he moved even slower now. I took him for a morning walk everyday to keep him and the babies healthy, "Come on, baby, don't stop now. We're still 15 minutes away from home." He's exceptionally tired today so I pitied him and carried him all the way home. "Don't get used to this." I joked.

[shiro08]

My eyes beamed in delight when my mate said yes. I hugged him as much as my belly allows and gave him a peck on the cheeks. I know he still didn't trust my sister, if the dinner said anything, but I know he'll warm up to her.

Month 4
My sister luckily found a house to settle in. Even though, she visits to help around the bakery and sometimes in sewing too. I've been more tired lately that I always end up not being much helpful. Andres assures me though that he's fine with it. The cravings got more awkward. And even if they satisfy the babies, still I'm not satisfied that I don't get to kiss my love after.

I know my mate has good intentions for morning walks, but they really are challenging for me. I'm glad that A is always with me to be my strength. Today I'm not feeling all energetic. Maybe because the pups kept me up last night? Either way I'm already beyond tired! When I heard that we still have 15 minutes of this, my knees buckled. I saw an angel when my love offered to carry me home.

"T-thank you, love... Haaaa haaa... I won't but promise me we'll take a shorter route n-next time." I tried my best to catch my breath while I'm being carried. Without knowing, I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of my sister. "Andres, Tavian, welcome ho... Tavian... Andres he is so pale. Is he okay?" I really just want to sleep right now.

(Sorry it took me long to reply)

[heavilypreggo]

I looked down and my heart stopped for a second, now that Taira mentioned it I just realized how pale he was. I thought he was just tired from our morning walk but things didn't seem that simple, I also just realized my T-shirt was soaking wet because of his sweat and not mine.

I put him down on our bed while calling for Quinn telepathically. "Quinn..please come here quickly, something's wrong with Tavian." "Taira, could you please get some ice chips from the fridge?"

My baby writhed in pain with his eyes closed, at this point I didn't know if he's conscious or not so I shook his shoulders. "Baby, please wake up, tell me where it hurts." Taira came back with the ice, I applied some cold compress all over his body to reduce the heat.

I then noticed some blood seeping out of his shorts onto the bed sheets and I panicked "QUINN!! WHERE ARE YOU?! HE'S BLEEDING!!" Not long after Quinn came barging in and gave him a series of shots. I stayed near and held his hand all along.

It's a blur, Quinn was busy doing God knows what and she pulled out a grey lump. "Quinn..i-i-is that...?" I couldn't finish my sentence because my throat constricted painfully and saying it out loud would make it real. "W-why isn't it m-moving??"

"I'm sorry Andres, you just lost one of the pups." Quinn told me sadly, she even had some tears on her eyes.

(No problemo :) )

[shiro08]

I woke up from unconsciousness, head blurry of what happened. I saw Quinn talking with Andres holding out a grey lump, is that...? "I'm sorry Andres, you just lost one of the pups." My eyes widened, quickly filling with tears. Memories came flashing back. I was really exhausted, then there was pain and Quinn rushing to me. I lost one pup. 

"No..." I whispered, tears coming out slowly before becoming a full stream. It was a whisper but A and Quinn must have heard. I saw my fiancé coming to me and embracing me in his arms. I cried even harder, repeatedly saying 'no' as if in denial of what has happened. But then Quinn came over holding out my pup for me to see, and reality hit hard. I took the child into my hands and cried loudly, pressing him in my chest hoping my heart beat will wake him. Yes, he was a boy, he was supposed to be our firstborn son, the heir to whatever pack we'll build.

I've calmed a bit and turned to look at his form. Our little boy had grey fur with patches of white. I smiled. I'm sure he'd grow up to be quite the looker if given the chance. Andres was crying with me. Our son needed a name. I promise he'll never be forgotten and will always be part of our family. "Can we name him Theo? It means god, and as we have been blessed by God with him, He had taken him again to rejoin Him in his Kingdom." I made my request, but I can't still look at Andres. I've failed him, maybe he won't want me anymore.

I was startled when I felt my stomach cramp, and sobbed when at first I thought I'll have another miscarriage. I was assured though that it was the other four pups in me just kicking. I kissed the forehead of our baby boy before giving him to Andres and proceeding to focus on calming the other babies. Breathe in and out, and huge rubs on my belly. Andres and Quinn noticed my distress and was alarmed. She began checking on them and was relieved that they were just being active. The babies calmed and I smiled a little, but then I grew very worried.

"Why did I m-miscarry? Was there something wrong with me? How can I be sure that I can keep these four healthy and alive? I'm still able to do it, right?" and new tears sprung, maybe I'm broken. I'm not fit to be the omega that my love deserves. 

(Sorry for the very late reply!  )

[heavilypreggo]

Tavian gently put our baby in my hands, he's way too small although all the body parts had developed perfectly. I couldn't stop the tears running down my face looking at his lifeless body, still warm and covered in blood. "Yeah, we can call him Theo." I kissed the top of his head softly before giving him to Quinn so she could clean him up and wrapped him in white satin.

"NONE of this was your fault." Quinn said sternly while looking deeply into T's eyes, not breaking the eye contact until Tavian nodded slowly. "Things happen, I know it sucks but there's nothing you could have done differently. Both of you did everything right, you eat healthily, exercise regularly, I swear all of them were in prime condition during our last checkup so don't even think to blame yourself."

T fell asleep shortly, the event of the day must have tired him immensely. I went deep into the forest with Quinn to bury my first son while Taira would keep an eye on T. "Bye, son..thank you for coming into our lives. I'll see you when I see you." I kissed him one last time before laying him down gently in the small hole I made.

The miscarriage affected Tavian negatively, he kept blaming himself regardless of what Quinn said. He barely talked to me and Taira, I heard him cry himself to sleep almost every night. He didn't eat properly, he didn't exercise anymore, he no longer took any orders from our neighbours. I often caught him staring blankly at nothing in particular.

One morning, he acted up and refused to eat breakfast. I was not in a mood to comfort him, I was done playing nice. "WHAT DO YOU WANT TAVIAN?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ALL OF OUR BABIES?" I yelled at him while slamming the table so hard I could hear the loud crack.

[shiro08]

I didn't think twice about doing it, before I knew it I had slap my mate's cheek. I felt hurt and betrayed. Is that what he thought of me? I bit my lip as I tried holding back tears but it was no use. "How could you say that..." My voice was trembling as I looked at him with pure betrayal in my eyes.

"How can you say that I want to kill all our babies? It wasn't my intention to have our little Theo di-pass away before even being born. I know I have failed him by not giving him the chance of life he deserved, and now all I can think about is how I cannot make the same failure to our other four. I don't know what I did wrong for Theo to be taken away from us so soon... I don't want to exercise anymore because maybe it was the fatigue, I don't want to get sewing projects because maybe it was the stress, and to the food... I limited what I eat, but I was never starving. I don't know if I was over indulging myself and maybe that was the reason I miscarried, or maybe there was something in it that I shouldn't have eaten,. I don't know! and I'm so scared that I miscarry these four too! So how can you just say that as if I don't care about my babies!" The babies became active and I smiled a little at their energy. They must have felt the tension between me and Andres. It had been going on for days now and it surely made them restless as well.

I sighed as I tried to clam myself down, rubbing my belly gently to soothe the babies. If only Andres could notice, the rubbing was done in a more worried and protective manner. "The stress isn't good for the babies, and I can't be stressing myself more because of you and your accusations. I'm going to stay at Taira's for a while until both of us cool off." And not waiting for my love's reply, I went out and made my way to my sister's newly built home.

[heavilypreggo]

I considered going after him but my cheek was still stinging and I still couldn't believe MY OMEGA just slapped me, granted what I said was out of line and I didn't believe he would intentionally kill our babies but I was angry and just blurted out the words.

Now he's gone, I sighed deeply and kicked the chair it flew across the dining room, hit the wall and shattered into pieces. It's been a week and he hasn't come back home, I missed him and our babies terribly, I would casually pass through Taira's house to catch a glimpse of him but my pride wouldn't let me go to Taira's house. He must have entered the 5th month of pregnancy, our babies will be born in a month time, Tavian and I weren't even in a speaking term. 'Great' I thought bitterly.

Everything's a mess so I started to drink every night after closing the bakery to forget everything just for awhile. I was well on my way to become drunk when I heard the front door opening and closing. I squinted my eyes to focus my eyes on whoever's standing in front of me. It's Tavian!! I was so glad he's finally decided to come home, "Hey babe..where have you *hiccup* been?" I slurred.

I tried to give him a welcome home kiss but he pushed me away, "HEY! Don't you miss me?" I pouted a little.

[shiro08]

Taira welcomed me into her home. I explained mine and Andres situation to her, and she just listened until I was finished. I got emotional and ranted to her all that I was depressed and worried for, and she seemed to understand where I'm coming from. Being with her was like therapy. She was able to get me out of my depression and insecurities, and to convince that I should really take more care of myself and the pups. Taira was also able to make me understand that maybe what Andres did was only because he was very concerned for me and our babies, and that he didn't mean saying harsh words. I felt guilty for leaving him. Everyday I would see A passing by Taira's house, trying to get a glimpse of us. Maybe he really did care and was sorry. My fifth month came, and the babies were still very active. That means they're still very healthy, and I was relieved. Only thing was I didn't have my love to celebrate it with me.

After a week, I was fully recovered. I decided to go back to our home and make things right with Andres. When I arrive at the front door, I prepared myself to see my alpha crying and looking all miserable and had already planned how to comfort him and make it up to him. But what I was met with as I entered made my blood boil.

"Don't you dare come near us reeking of alcohol! I gave us time to straighten ourselves and be better for the sake of the pups. I did my part and now I got over my depression and insecurities. Also got rid of the feeling of betrayal I got from you. But what did you do? You drink alcohol until you get drunk and clumsy?! I can't believe you!... Where did you even got the money to buy it? You know we're saving for their future! We only have one month left! I...oouch." I stopped scolding him when I felt a very strong kick from one of the pups. I leaned on the doorframe as I rubbed the sore spot. "Shh... it's okay."

I glared at Andres who tried to get closer to me again. "Don't touch us! You straighten up yourself then come get us. I don't want to be with you while you're drunk." I went back to Taira in tears. "He was drunk. He knew I don't like him drinking and he still did it. What will we do? The pups will be ready in a month"

[heavilypreggo]

The sight of Tavian leaving me again sobered me up a little bit, I went to the lake and dipped my whole body into the freezing cold water to fully sober up and remove the smell of alcohol. I then went to Taira's house, she of course started yelling at me but I quickly put my hand over her mouth, "Shh!! I know I messed up, okay but I'm here to make things right and I can't do that if you wouldn't even let me see him. Please, Taira, I welcomed you to our house when I didn't trust you, I'm asking you to do the same now."

Fortunately she relented and let me in, I slowly opened the door to the guestroom in case he's sleeping, "Please leave me a-alone,Taira." He's clearly been crying and it broke my heart knowing I caused this. I said nothing instead I got in the bed and spooned him from behind, he was startled and quickly trying to turn around. His facial expression turned angry and he tried to break free but I tightened my hold around him. "Stop fighting me, I'm sorry..so sorry." He's full on sobbing so I rubbed his belly to calm him down, I'm happily surprised to find out his belly had grown even bigger and rounder.

We didn't talk that night, he cried himself to sleep so I just hugged him tightly until morning came. I watched him closely as his eyes fluttered open, "Hey, morning. Are you ready to talk?"

[shiro08]

I just wanted to be alone. Taira kept on insisting that she comforts me but really I don't want anyone near me. She said that Andres must've been very sorry for what he did. I believed her; she lied. How was getting drunk showing you're sorry?

I was startled when Taira got on the bed, but the moment the familiar pair of arms embraced me. I wanted to break free. I can't, Andres was too strong, and he didn't let me go too. So what I can only do was to cry against him and pathetically hit his chest. I'm really hating him that moment.

I didn't realize that I have cried myself to sleep. And it ruined my day to see my mate that betrayed us. "You want to talk? Fine. I've tried my best to recover from all that bothered me before, and I did. I tried forgiving you for what you said, and I did. The babies reached their fifth month without their papi and I thought it was time that you and I fix things and get back together..." The pups woke up and started being active. I inhaled deeply at the discomfort before repositioning myself to a better position and rubbing my achy stomach.

"You know that I don't like you drinking. What made you think that getting drunk will make me forgive you and fix things? And i don't know how long you've been doing it. It was just messed up and it angered me because to me it felt that you really never did care." I can't help it, and I was back to crying. Andres hugged me, and I just wanted to feel his warmth and comfort so I didn't reject him.

"I love you... and our pups SO MUCH that you must understand why this hurts me dearly. Andres, I'm carrying your pups and they'll come hear next month. I just wants us to go back the way we were then before they come."

[heavilypreggo]

"And we will..we will clear all this mess and move on stronger than before." His big belly was visibly moving, I couldn't help but smile, I could only imagine how active the pups would be once they're born. I put my hand on top of his belly and felt a few kicks right against my palm. "The.....the miscarriage was also hard on me, I tried to appear strong for you but it broke me too. It made me feel like I failed you as an alpha, I couldn't take care of you and our pups well enough."

I slid down a little and rested my head on T's chest, trying to comfort myself by listening to his steady heartbeats. "Then you were seemingly suffered from depression and that day I was just trying to snap you out of it and help you overcome your depression. I'm sorry I did it the wrong way and accused you of trying to kill our pups. You must know I didn't mean it." I looked him right in the eyes to make sure he understood.

"As for the drinking part..I have no excuse for that. I was so sad you would leave our house like that and I didn't hear anything from you for days, you know how us alphas couldn't stand to be left alone by their omegas. Please don't ever leave me ever again." I couldn't care less about my pride at this moment, if I had to beg my omega not to leave me again then so be it.

"Have you booked your 5th month appointment with Quinn?"

[shiro08]

Andres was finally telling him how he really felt after we lost Their, and on me, and I cried when I finally understood where he was coming from. It made me realize that we were the same in our depression. I felt guilty for also accusing him of not caring about us and misunderstanding me when actually he was also grieving and I failed as his omega to comfort him. 

"I-I'm sorry... I was so selfish that I didn't even considered how you must've felt. It's also my fault why we're like this and I'M SO SORRY! Please forgive me." I let Andres just hold me tight as I cried on his chest again. When I was feeling better, he asked me the question.

I bit my lip. I haven't made the appointment yet because I was hopeful I and Andres will get back together soon. But I don't want him thinking that I don't care about the pups, that's why I didn't make it.

"Um, no. I was waiting for you? I don't want to go alone."

[heavilypreggo]

"You have nothing to be sorry for, we're both in the wrong but we'll be better for our pups. Please come home with me, baby. I'll ask Quinn to come to our house tomorrow."

I was so happy he agreed to come home, the walk home took longer than expected, he waddled slowly while holding his underbelly, it looked heavy. As promised, Quinn came the next day. "Please wait here Quinn, I'll tell Tavian you're here." He's currently napping in our bedroom, he got tired easily. "Hey, baby..wake up. Quinn's here to check on you and the pups."

Quinn's done checking up on them, "Everything looks good, guys. These little ones are healthy, their developments are on point. As I mentioned before, they are due 3 weeks from now. Tavian, have you decided how you're going to give birth? It's always good to plan ahead and I can help with the planning."

I haven't discussed this birth thing since our 1st appointment and I would totally go along with whatever he chose to do. "To make your decision easier, I would suggest you transform into your wolf form and we'll see which form you're more comfortable in." Quinn suggested. Now that I thought about it, I had never seen T in his wolf form while being pregnant, I was excited to see him in his wolf form.

[shiro08]

I gripped A's hand tightly as Quinn started the check up. I was so afraid that the other four pups had gotten sickly too with all that happened.

Quinn announced that all of them are very healthy and that we can expect that they'll be arriving in 3 weeks time. "We haven't decided on how I will birth. There are the pros and cons of each..." 

She requested if I could shift to my wolf form, and I was at first hesitant not having done it before during my pregnancy. "O-okay. But can we shut all the windows first? The humans might see and come after us." My mate and Quinn did as I told them and I was put at more ease.

"Okay...love, can you help me get on all fours?" It was hard balancing myself as I was slowly lowered by Andres on the floor. I kept my hand on my underbelly supporting the heavy weight of the pups. I started to shift, and it wasn't uncomfortable as I thought it would be. I now lay on the floor as a wolf. My bump was still very huge but compared to carrying the pups as human, my stomach now was a little smaller, but still huge in terms of wolf. My belly was more stretchy and it gave more room to the pups the was happily playing in it. I pawed it trying to make them calm down.

"This form is more comfortable for me, and the pups seemed to like being here better. A, can we pick this option for the birth? We'll just be careful of sneaking out to the forest when the time comes."

[heavilypreggo]

I watched in awe when my baby slowly shifted to his wolf form, soon laying there was the most beautiful wolf I had ever seen in my whole life. He's so packed with pups, his belly was huge and almost touching the floor when he stood up. "Sure, baby. We can do what you think is best." Quinn soon left and told us she would find a nice area in the forest for Tavian to finally give birth.

I stared at him with a dopey smile on my face, I swiftly shifted into my wolf form too, the wolf in me had an urgent urge to be near my mate right now. I softly nudged his belly with my snout, "Beautiful." I whispered it quietly to him. I guided him to our bed where I made love to him until we're both satisfied which was hours later.

"I wish we could stay in our wolf form more often." We were both lying on our bed the next morning, just being lazy since it's Saturday. We talked about our delayed wedding, with the miscarriage, the fights and everything else we just didn't have the time to plan the perfect wedding my baby deserved. The wedding was naturally pushed to the back of our minds.

"By the way, our babies will be here in 3 weeks, how do you feel?"

[shiro08]

(I'm sorry to be gone for so long!)

I was beyond pleased that Andres still loved my wolf form despite being so fat and swollen with our pups. My mate agreed with me on birthing the pups as a wolf, and I was very thankful to Quinn for making the effort of finding us a safe place to birth into.

That night we made love again, I was reminded of our wolf days when we were healing each other with much intimacy that ended with my pregnancy. Andres was very gentle and loving as we did it; and it was a very nice way of reconciliation between us. Finally, I was assured that we'll really be okay.

I snuggled closer to Andres, my belly pressing on against his. "I'd also like that. Maybe we can. We just need to keep the windows closed more often. This really is a more comfortable form for me and the pups." We talked about the wedding, and despite being so delayed with everything that had happened, I really want to be wed with Andres before our pups are born. But with only three weeks left, I'm not too feeling confident about it.

"I'm excited. I can't wait to finally meet them and carry them in my arms." I looked at my belly fondly while rubbing it. "They'll be here soon and I could feel it. I feel so tired and heavy and hungry always, i'm really sorry that I can't be much help in the bakery,hon. But they'll be with us soon and I'm happy. How about you? You're gonna be a papi in three weeks. How do you feel about it?"