[hockeypreg2]

Zach rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache starting. "I don't know what I want right now but if you want to keep it then that's where we'll start from. If nothing else, I'll financially support you and the ... the baby." He sighed again. "But I don't know what I want, okay."

Zach reached for Caleb's hand. "Fuck me. That was not what I was expecting you to say."

[Sam260]

Caleb laughed - a bit hysterically - "Right." he sighed and shook his head, biting on his bottom lip as he looked down at his and Zach's hands "And what exactly did you expect me to say?" Caleb asked quietly.

He reached up with his free hand to wipe away the tears on his face "I never expected to be telling someone I was pregnant." He took a shaky breath and let it out just as shakily "I wanted to wait... Until after I had a steady job... an actual boyfriend... I still want to wait, but we're here now... and I am not giving this baby up, no matter what."

[hockeypreg2]

"I thought like you were sick or needed money," Zach admitted. "Like something crazy had come up and you needed some help. I never expected a pregnancy. I mean, after the first time we were so good about using condoms." Zach shook his head and reached for the tissues, using them to mop up the tears on Caleb's face.

"Have you seen a doctor? Do we need to find you one? I'm sure my agent can find you one. I'm going to have to tell her."

[Sam260]

Caleb felt immediately overwhelmed and shook himself out of the funk "No no... I've seen a doctor, I... I have one back home already..." Caleb bit his lip "Why do you have to tell your agent? Can't... can't we just... keep this a secret... for a little while longer?" Caleb really didn't want to chance ruining Zach's career, and an unplanned pregnancy with another man? Well, that pretty much just threw a huge monkey wrench into the entire 'keep it on the down low' plan that Zach had.

[hockeypreg2]

"She doesn't like surprises." Zach said wryly. "I'd rather be honest with her even if I never have anything to do with the baby and just send money. It could be found out eventually so it's better if she knows. Believe me, an unplanned pregnancy is nothing compared to what they've dealt with. Not from me but from other people. I mainly just complain about not being able to bring Leo on all my shoots."

[Sam260]

Caleb nodded and looked over at Leo - he had finally calmed down, laying at Caleb's feet, nose resting right on top of Caleb's toes that were still on the ground "Go ahead and call her then..." Caleb said quietly, gently pulling his foot out from underneath Leo's nose and curling up on the couch. He was once again getting cold - it seemed to be a non-stop thing, going from hot to cold.

"Do you possibly have anything warm I can wear? I uh... I get really cold, it seems now." Caleb said, goosebumps already breaking out on his skin and a shiver running through his body.

[hockeypreg2]

Zach nodded and got up. He went to the hall closet and grabbed a sweatshirt. It would be huge on Caleb but it would keep him warm. "Here you go. Do you need anything else? Bathroom is the second door on the right and the kitchen is on the other side of the living room."

Zach rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry I put you in this position."

[Sam260]

Caleb smiled as he took the sweatshirt and pulled it on over his head - he was able to fit his entire body inside of it, and did so. He rested his chin on his drawn up knees, managed to tie the sleeves into a knot around his shins without getting either hand stuck and kept every body part, expect his head, inside the sweatshirt "Much better." he looked more like a little kid than anything, wrapped up so snug and warm.

Caleb shook his head slowly "Takes two to tango, Zach. Either it was our first time, unprotected... or perhaps a condom failure... I don't know... Doc can't exactly pinpoint how far along I am because of my weight, says I could be anywhere between two months and almost four months already..." Caleb said quietly, looking up from his burrowed position of the sweatshirt.

[hockeypreg2]

"I could have gotten you a blanket if you were that cold," Zach said, shaking his head. "And it was my responsibility to have condoms. I liked you and while I didn't plan on asking you over after we went running, I had been thinking about it. I should have bought some before you were in my house and naked on my bed."

[Sam260]

Caleb shook his head "The sex was random and spontaneous... It just happened. Planning never goes correct half the time anyway." Caleb said quietly, chewing feverishly on his bottom lip "Stop worrying about it so much..." Caleb said quietly, glancing toward the bathroom with a bit of longing in his eyes - he hadn't showered since last night and the stench of airplane was still on him, and his bladder... god it was so full and he hadn't drank much since leaving for his flight.

He untangled himself the too big sweatshirt and stood up on slightly wobbly legs. "I think I'm going to go use the bathroom, maybe take a shower..." Caleb said quietly, he grabbed his backpack off the floor near the couch and quickly dashed to the bathroom. It was almost too late, but he managed to untangle his sweatpants just in time to relieve himself.

After that, he climbed into the shower and scrubbed himself clean; spending more time staring at the curve of his stomach than actually cleaning himself. It looked larger, today, perhaps because he had finally been able to hold a meal down, or just because he seemed to be growing bigger, loosing weight, or a combination of all three - whatever it was, he looked to be on the mark of four months pregnant.

[hockeypreg2]

Zach talked to his agent, letting her yell at him a bit and then promise him she would take care of everything no matter what he planned on doing. Cindy might be the bane of his existence but she would go to the ends of the earth to protect him. At the end of the call, she made him promise not to do anything rash - no quickie weddings in Vegas, no press conferences, no shopping for baby clothes with Caleb in public.

He sat on the kitchen floor with Leo afterwards, letting himself get lost in his thoughts while petting the dog. He honestly didn't know what he should do. If he was smart, he would send Caleb back home with a large check and never see him or their child again. But he wasn't very smart and he liked Caleb. And he had always wanted a kid but never thought he would get to have one since he was gay and in the closet.

Fuck. He hit his head lightly against the cabinet he was leaning on. He was such a fucking idiot.

[Sam260]

Caleb emerged from the bathroom after his shower, wearing a tight shirt and a pair of yoga pants. He had his hair tied up and braided. When he found Zach, he frowned slightly - it was obvious now, without the baggy clothes, that he was very much pregnant "You okay there?" he asked quietly, leaning his hip against the kitchen counter.

[hockeypreg2]

Zach looked up at him, his eyes going right to Caleb's belly. "Honestly I have no idea. Wow, you are definitely pregnant. No more abs there."

He patted the floor next to him. "Pull up some floor. I promise it's clean. I have someone come in once a week."

[Sam260]

"Better help me back up." Caleb grumbled as he carefully eased himself down to the floor next to Zach, planting his legs wide out to accommodate for the curve of his stomach "I only look big because - well... look how skinny I... was!" Caleb pouted up at Zach "Now I'm getting fat, and big... and... blah."

"So how come we're sitting on the floor and not somewhere like... the couch?"

[hockeypreg2]

"I was petting Leo but he abandoned me for his stuffed giraffe Mr. Flippers." Zach reached over, his hand hovering over Caleb's bump. "Can I..." At his nod, Zach gently covered it with his hand. It felt solid and warm. He exhaled shakily and banged his head against the cabinet one more time.

"I want to know my kid if you'll let me," Zach said quietly after a long moment. "I don't know what else I can do yet but I want that. And I'm not going to leave you hanging. I'll do what I can while you're pregnant."

[Sam260]

Caleb nodded and set his hand over Zach's hand "I will let you get to know your child. He is yours, after all..." Caleb said quietly, biting on his bottom lip as he stared down at their hands on his rounded belly "Not much to it yet... but..." he pulled a picture from his back pocket in his yoga pants and handed it to Zach.

It was just a blob, as all ultrasound baby's looked, but there was a clear outline of it's head and small body, and even more importantly its gender - which was proudly showing a little boy's parts. As the baby had been practically showing off for the Ultrasound Technician at the time of picture-day.

[hockeypreg2]

"Oh," Zach said softly, taking the picture. "That's ... our son? You're having a boy?" He smiled at the picture, tracing the shape of the baby. "That's really inside you. Wow. I just ... wow."

Zach couldn't help himself any longer. He leaned over and pulled Caleb into a hug.

[Sam260]

"This is our son, yes. Our little boy." Caleb said and sighed when Zach hugged him - it felt great, being wrapped in the man's arms with the knowledge now off of his own chest and out into the open. "I was so worried, that you'd kick me to the curb... I want us to be a family, even if its a dysfunctional, holiday only, family... I want you in our baby's life, watching him grow up."

[hockeypreg2]

Zach pulled Caleb onto his lap so he could wrap him in his arms properly. He knew Caleb liked being held and he had a feeling he needed that right now. Zach needed that right now himself. "We'll figure it out. I'm not going anywhere."

[Sam260]

Caleb snuggled into Zach's arms and let out a content little sigh, their unborn child nestled protectively between their bodies "I hope not." he whispered, mostly to himself, as he got comfortable in Zach's arms.

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