[bhdire8]

Jaq couldnt say he was disappointed, but it did cause a little pain thinking Frank could very well have invited someone over. Shared a kiss. Tried on something more intimate while he had become a celibate. It wasnt intentional, granted. it had been more of a matter of lack of time than a voluntary choice. Still, it felt horrible imagining Frank standing with a petite lovely woman, or an attractive guy. He decided to drop that topic as well, it would be meaningless to ponder on that anyway.

Finding Frank's fingers dancing on his shirt reminded him of those days when they were fucking.like crazy. Thinking back, it had been infatuation for his side in the start. The love was violent, but also not well-established. Later when he found out Frank was pregnant, those 2 months beforr thrir premature birth, it had been the time when the bonding really sublimed for him. It was a time that had settled down, consolidated his feelings towards his teacher, but that was crushed so hard by the birth and the breakup. Perhaps that's the reason why he had been so insistent in tracking them down.

He clutched Frank's fingers, pushed the older man back to the wall and did a childish thing of pressing his head on his chest, even though the angle was awkward and he had to bend down. He gripped Frank's waist hard, finding his favourite position again.

[Lovebite]

Frank was glad that there was no other questions or discussion about their previous romantic relationships without one another. He didn't stop his fingers when Jacques looked at them, he wondered what was running through his mind, was it the same as what was running through his own? His fingers came up even more to run over the others face, he noticed that he looked older, not by much, but enough so he noticed it. A gasp escaped him when he was gripped and pressed even more firmly against the wall, he looked down as his head laid on his chest. His waist was gripped and he was like putty in the other's arms, whatever he wanted he would do, because he owed it to him. He had broken and beat him and yet he still came back to him like a puppy, a big, dumb, adorable puppy and he loved him with his whole heart and being. Maybe just as much as Duncan again. "Are you okay?"he asked after a long moment of them standing there.

[bhdire8]

The question startled Jaq, who flinched and quickly turned away from Frank. He was horrified to feel his eyes burning bad, tears threatening to overflow. He pressed his palms onto his eyes, feeling the heat as he forced the tears back. He lookrd up to the ceiling, sighing and waited a moment. He didnt speak until he was sure his voice wouldnt sound too broken. "Right... ya i'm fine. Yes. Hmmm" he cleared his voice. That moment had reminded him of all the pain and heartbreak from brfore, and his courage to take that leap of faith suddemly waned. He hide his face in his palms, he could feel his heart trembling with fear for another heartbreak. He wasnt sure if he could take that blow one more time. It took another momemt for him to recompose himself. He looked.up, quietly saying. "Sorry about just now. I j-just got a bit emotional. Hmm. Yes. How about we take it slowly? Like.... build this up step by step?" He said, measuring his words.

[Lovebite]

The older man looked worried as he grabbed his arms before he could pull away,"Hey..."he said softly,"C'mon, it's okay. Was it me?"he wasn't sure what to do as he held his hands by the wrist, not wanting him to cry as he kissed his fingers softly,"I'm sorry... I-I..."he scrambled for words,"I'm stupid and don't realize what I have until I push it away so far from me that I can't get it back." His eyes looked over his face and then looked down with a simple nod,"Yeah... Slow. Okay."He murmured and met his eyes,"What are the steps? Is it like a guide?"He tried joking, though his words sounded bland.

[bhdire8]

Jaq looked at Frank.with eyes with mixed feelings. He was happy, relieved in morr than one way hearing Frank admitting he had regretted. Sort of. Jaq shook his head slowly. "I dunno.... you tell me? I mean... I never really developed a relationship with anyone excpet you. The first time.... it was just an epic failure. Now that we could start again.... how do you usually do it with your other... partners" he shifted on his legs as he tried to find their starting.point.

[Lovebite]

Frank looked back just as well, smiling softly at him as he let go of his hand after a moment,"I don't know, you're the one who wants to take it slow."he licked his lips. As he looked over his face,"My other partners? I get to know them, but I already know you, Jaq."he moved past him to take a seat on the couch,"I would rather pick up where we left off, before everything got..."he shrugged and didn't know what word to use to explain it,"...bad."He finished.

[bhdire8]

Jaq shifted towards the couch as well, sitting close to Frank with their thighs touching each other. He took Frank's hand and played with his stockier fingers in his own ones. Both hands were rough, his was calloused with his trainings on the field, and Frank's probably from years of teaching and wirting on boards. "How about we establish some routines. What should we do next? Are you ever going to move back into town...?" Them living so far away from each other could be a problem.

[Lovebite]

Frank turned himself so the backs of his thighs rested against Jacques, pressing his forehead into the crook of his neck and watching their fingers,"Routines like what?"he asked, pressing his lips together and shrugging,"I've got to make dinner for Duncan in a minute." The older man glanced back silently as he listened to see if the little boy was up yet, he was known to take short naps. His eyes turned onto Jaq again when he mentioned town and he thought about it long and hard,"I don't know... I've rented this place for another year or so... I could wiggle out of it maybe."

[bhdire8]

Jaq quickly calculated his schedules and lessons in his head, trying to figure out a timetable that would allow him visits frequent. "Let's keep your rent here. I have been thinking too far ahead. At least Duncan would need to get more familiar with me before any big movemrnt is desirable." He fell silent, idly patting Frank's back as he considered. He spoke after a minute. "You need to prepare dinner, you say? Let's get it done togethrr. What do.you usuallh cook for him? Is he a picky eater?" He asked curiously, wanting to get to know his son. And also to merge into their lifestyle quicker.

[Lovebite]

Frank nodded in agreement, his eyes closed slightly as they sat for a long moment and then looked up at him once again,"Yeah, like clockwork."he thought about it,"I usually have a schedule, he's really picky about eating the same thing in a row. So I.have to plan that out, I think today is pasta."he said,"Not picky about what he puts in his mouth though. Once caught him eating dirt when I was raking in the back yard." The man chuckled softly to himself,"That was a day."he murmured.

[bhdire8]

"Haha silly boy." Jaq said with fondness as he shook his head. "That little guy needed constant monitoring, doesnt he?" He said as he stood up and yanked Frank up as well. They linked their hands while moving on to the kitchen. "So we are making what sauxe?" He asked looking around. He personally favored a tomato based one, but he wanted to know about Frank and Duncan's taste more. He wanted to fit into this household badly now, even if not for Frank, at least for Duncan.

[Lovebite]

"Yeah, he does."Frank's eyes went wide as he was helped up so suddenly, he laughed off the feeling though and held the hand that was intertwined with his own,"You make the best sauce, why don't you go ahead."he replied, pulling away gently from the younger man and going to grab the ingredients from the cabinets and fridge.

[bhdire8]

"You still remember?" Jaq smiled. "I recall I only made it for very limited times.... back then i always gotta rush out for trainings and all. Never really have time to cook." He said looking up to find the frying pan. Somehow he had no problem.locatig them, he had a hunch on where everything was. Frank had a preferred orientation and it was quite specific and organized.

[Lovebite]

"Of course I do. It was the best damn sauce I've ever tasted." Frank smiled softly in return as he watched the other man pull out the pan, Jacques knew him more than he knew himself and he would find that strange if they hadn't known each other so long. "So you graduated, huh?"he asked him, leaning against the counter as he watched him cook,"I wish I would have been there to watch you walk across the stage."he murmured,mostly to himself as he looked down slightly.

[bhdire8]

"yea. i wish you were there as well." The young male whispered, chopping up the onion he was about to prepare. "And, believe it or not. I was on the Dean's list." He said. "Sometimes I don't recognise myself. well, I guess relationships does change people." He muttered, then hissed when he cut himself, sticking his bleeding finger into his mouth.

[Lovebite]

Frank couldn't be any more proud of him, he smiled softly despite it being slightly sad in a way and nodded,"I mean... I think it was a good thing all this happened. Without you needing to worry about anyone else you excelled at what you wanted to do. Even ending up back here."he added, his hand coming up to his eye,"Despite it all."he added, remembering what happened earlier and flinching when he heard him jump,"What happened? Did you cut yourself?"he came forward.

[bhdire8]

"It's not good!" Jacques yelled. He had lowered his face since cutting himself, and large,round tears could be seen dropping down onto the chopping board. "it's not.... I wish everything didn't happen like that. Dean's list or not... that's never what i cared. Don't you know, Frank, what I cared the most?" He snapped up his head, his eyes were swollen and he was crying so hard, his tears just kept falling like they would never end. "I don't even know what i was studying for.. I just know i had to study to take my mind off you. In a sense, it's either studying or alcohol. or drugs." He snorted and wiped away roughly the tears with the back of his hand and started chopping again. "Damn onions..."

[Lovebite]

The older man took a slight step back, he had been hit once before now and really didn't want it to happen again, though he realized why he was yelling as he cried softly. He was at a lost of words as he watched Jacques, it was a sudden change that made him wonder when he had triggered him to act such a way. When they had just been fine for a few minutes, what had happened between them might be something that was too deep to cover up with some smiles and conversations. "I said I was sorry, so keep your voice down, Duncan's sleeping."he came forward and held his hand,"Is it deep?"he asked, still worrying over the cut,"Let me do this, you shouldn't be cutting while so upset."

[bhdire8]

"I wasnt upset, it's just the onion getting into my eyes." Jacques argued but let Frank take his hand. "No it's fine. There isnt even that much blood." He dismissed it and turned away so his eyes wouldnt be facing the chopped onions any longer. "Ya, sorry. I just was a little, agitated. I dont like that you dismissed our relationship like that's something bad." He sighed and gently freeed his hand from Frank's hold and rrturned to chopping.

[Lovebite]

"Sure it was."he murmured as he held his hand, looking at the small but bleeding wound and then leading him out of the kitchen,"Come on, I have to bandage that up for you."he said as he took him into the bathroom, sitting him on the edge of the tub and letting him go as he went to grab the first aid kit that was beneath the sink. "Why do you care so much about what we were?"he asked as he looked down at his finger,"Haven't I changed? Haven't yo changed? Things can't stay the same as before."