11-30-2016, 09:35 AM
"I... I am afraid. We have been pretending everything is normal since... you. I thought I wanted this but in fact I dreaded it. I thought I could dream on if we continue to pretend, but in fact I am now constamtly afraid of being awakened from this dream. This could turn into a nightmare so quick, it's like a knife hanging above my head. I found myself rather have it dropping right now, even if it would kill me, than wait in this constant fear. However, whenever I thought how seeing him could shatter all these, I got cold feet again. I... i dont think I could let him go, but I dont see how I can make him stay." Carl spilled his heart to Saul, suddenly found himself needing some outlet. He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his face he spoke again. "Anyway, that's not something you can help. But thanks for listening." He continued to rub on Saul, relieving his soreness. "Now I think I promised you a handjob. If you still want it...? As a token of thanks for listening to my mad words?"