Growing Together (Closed w/SarcasticGaymer)

[Klayko]

Amid the conversation, Herek thought back on his real life. Here, among the city, some people stated how he looked rather familiar. They didn’t connect that he might play professionally overseas because why would he be a visiting professor among other things? That and, surely someone like him wouldn’t get pregnant. He just played it off. Souza wasn’t even his last name professionally even. It was Larracuente, but that was neither here nor there. Before him, with Mason, he could naturally be himself for a few.

He listened in as Mason spoke of his own current situation. Herek had witnessed Mason before be a bit more open about his sexuality in such a short time. When it was his start in the Spring semester, Mason seemed a bit more reserved. Come this Fall semester, he was open about everything, asides from a few nervous matters here and there.

“Is that why you didn’t want to go back for the holidays,” he inquired. “Because of their disapproval? Not prying, rather understanding. It gets toxic trying to live a life for others you know that deep within, it's hurting you. That’s often how hate continues, in a way, people who haven’t been able to heal from their own wounds internally that it turns out into something else and the next thing you know, we have people who are racist, numbskulls who don’t exactly read the Bible well and much worse.”

He chuckled. Herek was indeed a religious man. He had to figure things out for himself though as life was all about learning. When Mason asked about if Herek thought of ever getting pregnant, he shook his head.

“Not at all,” he continued in between a sip of the cold tea he made for dinner. “Believe it or not, news did not travel fast enough to Brasil. I was out partying in celebration of a World Cup victory. Got a bit drunk and into what most call their feelings and wanted to see where it would go. I don’t even think their father knows is how rough that night was. Didn’t even get his number as we were both so nervous it happened that we got dressed quickly and bailed. Two weeks later, amid the news finally coming out, I was a bit nervous and kept trying to assure myself that there was no way I was in that windowframe of the virus. Another two weeks, I’m finding myself extremely sick in the morning and unable to do my morning routines and now, here I am.”

He shrugged a bit as he ate some of pasta. “I guess in some ways, I’m like you, trying to find my place in the world where there’s less and harsh judgement. Coming here where everything is a bit more open is nice, but let’s just say most men I’ve come across see the bump and think they’re not ready for children. News Flash: I’m not exactly ready either, but I’m learning to live with it because I wouldn’t want that hatred to rub off on them or even do something I would regret because I had to deal with what most call personal shame. I’m learning to be more content with the things I cannot change.”

[sarcasticgaymer]

“I stay away for a few reasons. Even though disapproval is probably at the source of it, they don’t know anything about me to be disapproval of. At home, I feel like I am a very stripped down and walled up version of myself so I don’t step on any toes. Acting that way for an extended period time is really stressful and puts me on edge. I know where their thoughts on these sorts of matters lie though, so for the small amounts of time I am at home, I always think it’d just be best to not be myself.” Mason knew how sad that sounded. He’s told a few people this logic and it was clear what they thought of it. “I know it sounds cold hearted, but frankly, I was never super close with my family, so I don’t feel the need to share things that will cause a divide. I have my own separate life and I’m comfortable with it that way.”

“Your point is valid on perpetuating the hatred and ignorance, but I’ve debated with them on the issues before, just leaving out the fact that I am one of the people I am defending, but they remain unswayed.”

Mason intently listened to Herek’s conception story and thought how it was just a sad game against the odds. Even with the virus in full swing, the chances of getting pregnant as a man are not near as high as a woman. To think that he got pregnant, with twins, even before the news of the virus got around, and that it had to happen with a man he didn’t even know… Life sure did try to throw a lot of things at him all at once, yet he still takes it in stride. Mason smiled and just stared into Herek’s deep brown eyes, admiring him deeply.

“You’re right, life really is about constant learning and going with the flow, but I’m still so amazed at how well you’ve managed. So much change in your life all at once, but you’re at the top of your game doing so much with your life. Herek, you’re… you’re truly an incredible person.”

Mason was really appreciating the company. He did not realize how much he needed to talk to someone that had similar experiences. Herek’s situation could be considered far worse than Mason, but he still liked to believe he could understand and empathize with what the pregnant man was going through, or at least parts of it. He decided to turn the conversation a little lighter, if not for his own curiosity.

“So, has your body changed much since the pregnancy? It’s not talked much about with men’s pregnancies, apart from the obvious.” He leaned back in his seat and rubbed his thin stomach, smiling.

[Klayko]

That was a tough situation to imagine. Who would want to be trapped by conditions they knew weren’t right? Herek had to live a lie, but he was glad that it didn’t take getting married to a woman, having children with them and a mid-life crisis to get to that point. The baby making occurred, except he was without a partner.

“In situations like that, I’m inclined to agree,” he stated. “Getting away from a situation that doesn’t yield to a mutual benefit is often better. Most like to say that running away doesn’t solve problems, but it actually does in most occasions, like now. If all that comes out of it is arguing, the only best solution is to naturally get away from it all.”

While Herek enjoyed the company, he knew Mason seemed to be looking for advice to some degree amid his complements about him being incredible. He also knew the male seemed rather too intrigued about the idea of getting pregnant. This was the second time after all, that Mason had now brought it up. Then there was the fact that he seemingly rubbed his own belly with a smile.

“Contrary to popular belief,” he continued. “I actually didn’t get morning sickness as a constant side effect. That’s how I was able to get by for so long without noticing until the weight started to make it obvious. Imagine the look on my face. I was tired out a lot more though when I’m usually a morning person. I just thought I probably needed to relax more from what used to be a daily ritual. It was the chest however that was and still is a major pain.”

He glanced down at his body as if to emphasize. “Men can naturally lactate, but it’s much rarer to that of a woman. Now that I’m pregnant however, they’ve been super sensitive and here and there, you can hear some sloshing. My shoe size also went up from an eleven to a thirteen. Do you know how hard that is to find in this country?”

He chuckled. “You seem rather curious, Mason. Have you thought about having a child on your own with that special someone when the time comes?”

[sarcasticgaymer]

“To be quite honest, I had never given it much thought until more recently. Pregnancy had always piqued my interest, not to mention it’s an extremely attractive physique, but when it’s only possible in a sex you are not sexually attracted to, there isn’t much of purpose thinking about it. It had always upset me that it was something I could never truly experience or understand for myself. Of course now, I definitely look forward to carrying my own children, but who knows when. I’m still searching for the special someone as you say, not to mention it’s something I shouldn’t think too hard about until I finish my studies.  

Mason did notice that he was constantly turning the focus back to the pregnancy. The way Herek gave such personal and detailed descriptions of his body changes made Mason think that the pregnant man enjoyed divulging. As Herek looked down at his breasts, Mason’s inquisitive eyes followed. Lactation wasn’t really something Mason had thought about, only focusing on the expanding stomach. With Herek’s bump only beginning to show, his breasts were still completely unnoticeable. If Herek could already hear the milk he was producing sloshing inside, there was to be some significant growth to follow as the babies continue to grow. Still, Mason was worried that he was making things awkward. “I apologize if I am making you uncomfortable talking about this. I don’t mean to fetishize your situation. I have just never been able to openly talk about it. It’s still quite taboo despite it being fairly common. Since the virus happened, the process of getting pregnant is just as natural for us as women. I don’t understand why it’s not celebrated.”

After trying to recover from his becomingly apparent obsession, he tried to switch topics. He tried to think of something that would stop him from idolizing his attractive dinner companion. Mason ended on a topic that put the two young men on a similar playing ground, the future.

“So what are your future plans?” Do you think you will stay in the states, or return home? Or perhaps even continue your travels further?”

[Klayko]

Herek listened closely. More and more, Mason was seemingly revealing a secret desire. The Brasilian man knew that Mason was coming from a place that meant well. He also knew what it was like to think a bit more, well, bullheaded. He didn’t dislike being pregnant, but it did come with some negative benefits.

“You only have a semester left in a way,” Herek stated. “Not saying it would be a wise idea or not. Just saying that your grades are already in a strong state. I’m sure if you heavily felt you were ready for such a responsibility, like most do the second they see a star athlete or someone going places, why not see what happens?”

Men could get pregnant now if they didn’t go the route of taking the antivirus. That meant some like Mason, who often had to pretend, could finally get the chance to live a life the way they wanted. Some, anyways.

“You’re not making me comfortable at all,” he chuckled. “It’s just the first time I’ve been around someone that’s curious about the process. At school, most really don’t care, but there are some who do see the bump and think instantly along the lines of I’m limited to doing things or it must be awful as a man to experience such a thing. We still live in a rather male-dominant nation. Not one too many women seem to be happy about that in a way.”

He finished off the rest of his meal and drink. After all, he had more of an appetite over Mason, no offense. “Just know that it comes with complications. As a man, you only have one sex organ and one hole. As the doctor told me, the child sort of chooses which way they want to exit out the womb, but the body prepares for it all the same. Doesn’t mean it’s not complicated all the same however if you know what I mean.”

Of course, Mason hadn’t the slightest clue what it was Herek actually did given his question. As a result, he shrugged. “Well, I’ve always been a man who likes to travel. This State isn’t all so bad either however. It might be nice to raise the children here or somewhere a bit more relaxing. The rainforests are not as cracked out to be as most think. If anything, we’re trying to escape from it.”

He moved away from the table, walking towards the kitchen counter which was a little beside Mason in terms of position. Herek liked being a bit more close when it came to conversations as opposed to being spaced out at a dinner table.

“You’ve got one semester left indeed. You already made a bold move to not give in to your life conditions by taking a chance to stay here for the holidays. Have you figured anything out for yourself quite yet in terms of the hat you’ll do after you get your degree?”

[sarcasticgaymer]

By no means was Mason planning on getting pregnant anytime soon, despite how often he thought about it. It just wasn't the right time, nor did he have a great support system in place. Still, he dreamed. Herek kept it real by bringing up the birthing process. Of course not everything about pregnancy can be romaniticized. Mason was well aware of anal birthing. He had no idea how painful it would be, especially compared to the normal way. He did know that it wasn't harmful though, and that men required C-sections far less often than women, which meant the process seems to work. Mason smiled comfortingly, "I am sure the effort is worth the end result. Or at least, that's what most parents normally say."

As Herek walked towards the kitchen, Mason turned his chair a bit to continue facing him, one arm rested over the back of the seat. He was surpised Herek seemed to enjoy his time here. Everyone finds home in different places, but to Mason the US was no prize to other countries. Not that he would know, never having left the country. "I don't have any definite plans. Graphic Design is pretty versatile, I could end up anywhere. I enjoy going where the breeze takes me, so we will see where I end up. As long as its near a big city, I'm happy." Mason had a strong artstic side, so he always craved the inspiration and collaboration that could be found in diverse areas, something that he was always missing in his hometown.

Mason collected his plates and silverware and approached his host in the kitchen. "This was an amazing meal. Thank you again. Shall I help with the dishes?"