Cruel Yet Agreeable Punishment (Closed with michime)

[Regifortis]

It was then that Steve had to think about something very carefully. Just how badly did he want to live here? Sure, this was a quiet and tucked-away apartment. But was everything that was happening and had happened at the hands of these two men really worth it? He had to think about that one.

Well...if they were willing to whip their dicks out and subjugate him, only to change their minds on a dime, then it was still clear that he didn't have a say in what happened. And he doubted they would ever let him just be who he was if he lived here.

"I'm kinda glad you said that, actually," said Steve. "I'm glad you're not the kind of people to actually rape a man who had no choice but to go along with you. But still...I fucking hate people like you. It's not just a lack of genuine interest or being too lazy to be nice. And believe it or not, I never thought I was better than you. I know I am, especially now. Even from that first meeting, I saw what kind of people you are, and it was repulsive. But hey! I guess you guys want the last word, not me. So I'll just wait out in the hallway, and you can say whatever you like as I'm leaving."

He got up off his knees and just left. He considered telling Murray that he needed to fucking bathe, but it honest-to-God wasn't worth wasting breath on those two. He would rather live as a pregnant man on the streets than deal with them. And so he stood out in the hallway and waited, just as he said. It was all up to Will now.

[michime]

"You in here now!" Will yelled after Murray and John walked out of the building owner's apartment. He looked ready to kill and his temper seemed totally focused on Steve.

[Regifortis]

Steve had to admit he wasn't quite expecting the landlord to blow up like that. It wasn't often he felt guilty...then again, he set up this whole arrangement in the first place. Whatever he had to say didn't matter too much: he already knew he wasn't going to live next to those two. But as for Alderman...he really could have learned to like the guy. And he was sure that Alderman didn't condone his tenants even joking about the shit they tried to pull earlier, which those two of course wouldn't have admitted.

Steve walked into Alderman's apartment, ready to take his licks. The guy had been good to him, and being perfectly honest, it was what he deserved for being rude to him. Those two could rot in hell any day, but Will deserved better...even if only a little bit.

But it was all too late now, wasn't it?

[michime]

"So you know you're better than everyone else on the fucking planet?" Will hissed his face red with anger and hate. "You think you can do whatever the what you want and never face any consequences? To hell with you, Steve. Get out of my building. Go find someone that suits your tastes and leave us the fuck alone. Whatever secrets you're hiding? Don't bother asking for help. You're a jackass but I thought that maybe you would realize you could be better."

[Regifortis]

Steve did feel that same irrational burn of guilt, like when he was being scolded by his parents. But all the same, he had to tilt his head a bit in confusion.

"I'll happily leave, if that's really what upsets you so much. But I have to wonder just what they told you, to be honest. I don't think that many men can whip their dicks out in front of me and demand that I suck it and take another one up the ass, then turn around and say that I think I'm better than everyone. But your friend Murray proved me wrong, and John didn't seem fussed about it when it happened. I would honestly rather be homeless than live next to perverts like that. On the other hand..." He gestured to his former landlord. "I was wrong about you. I thought you were just taking me for a ride and using me as a free food service and fake friend like the rest. But you were very kind to me, when I was just rude and awkward and secretive. I wish I had acted better around you. I am terribly sorry, sir. But if it doesn't sound it, then it's because I don't understand why you made friends with those two."

Steve turned to start packing his things, leaving the adjacent door open. "I don't know...maybe I am a bad person. Maybe I am supposed to look past John and Murray's faults, but I just can't find it in me. Especially not after tonight. So maybe you have perfectly good reasons for being friends with them. But don't bother telling me, because I'm sure they won't make sense to me." Steve considered how to end the conversation as he put what little he had back into the boxes on the bed.

"Tell you what. I like you, so I'll tell you this secret that made me so desperate to live here." He pulled up his shirt and revealed his noticeably swelling stomach. "I'm a pregnant man. Don't ask me how. Don't ask me when. Not because I wouldn't tell you, but because I have no clue. Someone upstairs is playing some kind of prank on me, and I don't want anyone I can't trust knowing about it. Neither of us can imagine what my life would become if this got out in public." He pulled down his shirt. "You can choose to believe me or not. If I don't seem contrite enough for you to believe me, then it's because I'm angry with you. So let me make it clear what you should believe. I like my privacy; I don't like guilt trips; I shouldn't have to lie and play nice and feign interest in something so I can HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE; I'm dealing with forces beyond my control; and..." Steve sighed. "You're a great cook. I didn't actually say it, but the fact you fed me each night made me really happy. I really hate that I'm leaving on terms like this..." Steve picked up his boxes and actually stifled a sob. "But hey. I'm an asshole. Some people just can't deal with that, I guess."

[michime]

Will stood in his apartment watching Steve pack his meager belongings into the boxes.  He wasn't about to stop the man from leaving or go back on his decision to evict him.  Steve said he would rather be homeless so he could.  He wasn't going to apologize for John and Murray either because that was between those three.  Too many secrets, too much faking interests, and Will was just done. 

[Regifortis]

Steve had his things packed, and then he remembered the bowl of potato salad still in the fridge. Will could just take it out and use it however he wished. Tonight just wasn't his night, was it? Nope. At least he could leave the cock-whipping twins behind. If Will was right about them being worth getting to know, then that'd be one hell of an explanation to make up for that. Steve sure as hell couldn't think of one. And he didn't have to, anymore. He took his things and went out to his car.

So this was what he was afraid of...Steve laid down in the backseat of his car. Maybe being homeless was a good thing. No one messed with bums, so they wouldn't get nosy about the size of his stomach in later months. Maybe it would be fine. He tried to get as comfortable as he could, and went to sleep.

The next day, he had to think about how to live, now that he lived out of his car for a while. He could try to find another apartment, but the time he lost from paperwork and a lost security deposit on top of that really restricted his options. Not to mention he had to focus more on getting enough food. He decided to keep things simple and go with that. Just a guy going to get food at the grocery store: nothing weird about that.

...Steve started to wonder if he let this whole thing get into his head more than it should have. Pregnant men just didn't happen, so probably no one would ask. Except for that one night...that had to be why he was so paranoid. A whole station of cops who don't give a shit about him, possibly knowing about what happened; of course he wanted to hide away. But did he take it too far? He wasn't sure anymore...

[michime]

Will was in the grocery store a few days later picking up several loaves of bread when he saw his former tenant Steve looking rather disheveled and stressed on the milk aisle.  He wasn't sure if he should approach the man but he figured Steve didn't want to hear from him.  Instead he went about his business, filling his shopping cart with food and supplies. 

[Regifortis]

Steve caught sight of his former landlord and tried to keep his distance. He had no idea what to say to the man, certainly not during something as mundane as a grocery store visit. He grumbled to himself...it really was distressing how much food he went through, these days.

Later on, he finished getting what he needed and headed to checkout. Only one open, of course. He went up there and prepared to just wait it out, and...oh, God. Alderman was right in front of him. And they looked at each other, great, now what was he supposed to do?

He offered a weak smile and a shrug to the kind old man. Life was just weird like that.

[michime]

"You left the dishes and the other stuff," Will spoke first as he placed his full cart of groceries on the belt.  "They were yours.  You could have taken them to your new place."

[Regifortis]

Steve blinked. All of that drama, and Will didn't mind him taking that stuff with him? He really didn't understand this guy very well; that much became clear to him over the past few days.

"That's fine, I left them there on purpose." He didn't feel right about taking them after what happened. It wasn't that he felt he was in the wrong, per se, but they were a gift based on how well he did in the test week. Or at least that was what he thought. "I don't really need them, anyway."

And that seemed to be that. Now things were awkward again...He didn't want to ask if Alderman told anyone, and it wouldn't make a difference to know that he did, if he did anyway. "You having a good day, so far?"

[michime]

"It's been a pretty good day," Will answered with a shrug, "stocking up before the storm rolls in."  He added the various cans of soup to the belt. "Did you find a new place?" 

[Regifortis]

Steve froze. He hadn't thought of Alderman asking this question, but now that he had, Steve realized he was dreading this one. It summarized so much of the shit of that week succinctly. His head was split in two every time he thought about it. Part of him wished he had been nicer, but then he remembered what happened when he let his true colors show, and all his bitterness came back in a flash. How was he supposed to be wholeheartedly contrite with THAT MEMORY haunting him, it was unfair!

"...No." Steve didn't even add 'not yet'. He wasn't sure he could reassure anybody about his situation, least of all himself. If he ever did find a place to live, then he was sure it would be somewhere where Steve couldn't run into John or Murray and a place where Will didn't have to be bothered with him.

[michime]

Will narrowed his eyes with that as if he could see into Steve's soul.  He had his reasons for telling Steve to go and he still believed in them but there was the 'storm of the century' brewing.  "I haven't found a tenant."  He added before he got the bottom of the cart.  "If you need a place to stay until the storm is over..." 

[Regifortis]

Steve seemed to be having a 'can't decide for shit' kind of day. He didn't want to be caught out in that storm, that was for sure. But he could also just find a shelter and hide out in that for a while. Plus John and Murray were there...On the other hand, he didn't know of any shelter in particular that he could find in time.

He felt horrible that he might say the wrong thing to Alderman as well. In all his life, this old man was arguably the only person he ever actually liked. Whether that was because he was just that much of an ass, or that he noticed the faults in people that they should have noticed themselves, he couldn't say anymore. He was too confused to give an answer he liked.

Steve pinched his brow. "I don't know...I need shelter, but I know you don't want me there. I don't want to impose. I can find somewhere else to stay until it all blows over." He couldn't think of something else to add before he put down the dividing bar. But the sight of mayo on the conveyor belt did remind him of Alderman's brand of hospitality. And the problem Alderman had in the first place was a lack of hospitality on his part..."Then again, if you just want someone to keep you company, then I think a storm's worth of a stay shouldn't hurt anything."

[michime]

Will nodded before he slid his card and paid for his groceries. "See you in a few." He added as he put the bags in the cart.

[Regifortis]

Steve waved goodbye. So...that happened. And now this was happening. He avoided looking at the cashier after she had to listen to that conversation. Steve got his groceries and drove down to the old apartment building. This was going to be strange, but at least it was on better terms than how Steve got into that God-awful 'test week'.

He brought in his food to the building and went straight to the old room. He didn't know if John or Murray were there at the moment, and he didn't want to find out if they were. The less they saw of each other, the better. Worse coming to worst, if they saw him and demanded he leave, then he would just leave and not cause a fuss. He had PLENTY he wanted to say to them, but he'd rather just not have it brought up at all.

He sat down on the bed, bags of food that he specifically bought for how it didn't need refrigeration around him, and just tried to gather himself. How did his life end up like this exactly? Then he noticed how his shirt was rolling up. Ah, yes. Well, sort of...Steve couldn't say how much of it was really the fault of whatever the hell this pregnancy bullshit was. Whatever; he couldn't dwell on stuff like that, not when he was trying to make up for what happened before.

Wait..was he? If he was, then he wasn't sure what he could actually do. But he remembered that he promised to spend time with Will and walked into the next room. He couldn't 'fake it until he made it', so he just wore how he felt on his face.

[michime]

Will stood at the stove stirring a big pot of something. He motioned for Steve to sit on the couch while he cooked. "Put on a movie if you want." He called over his shoulder. "Or do you want to talk?"

[Regifortis]

Steve felt goosebumps at the prospect of discussing what happened. He could easily just stick in a movie and call it done. He wouldn't have to think about anything. But all the same...there were some things he wanted to say, and certainly one or two things he wanted to know. It would be a waste to pass up this opportunity. He sat down on the couch.

"I don't want to talk, but I kinda need to. I hope you don't mind." Steve took a deep breath. "I'm guessing you didn't tell anybody about what I told you. But if you did, then I guess I can't blame you. So I guess I'll make myself plain.

"I admit I went about the whole 'test week' thing all wrong. I was in a really shitty time in my life - still am, really - but I think I could have just left all that at the door. I'm not sure how I could have done that, but it didn't occur to me to try. It did make me nervous when you started nosing into my business, to be fair. About those boxes you saw in the trash bag. I did say my secrets were none of your business, so I did make myself clear. And the same goes for any secrets of yours: I won't pry. I think that set me off, made me a little too desperate to keep my cover. So I didn't...I didn't let up and try to see things your way, I guess you could say. I was too wound up."

Steve palmed his empty belly. "So, uh...I think that just leaves a question I have for you. Do you believe what I told you? That one big thing I said, do you believe me about it?"

[michime]

"About you being pregnant? Yeah, I believe you. There's more than enough myths about men being absolute assholes then being cursed to give birth." Will answered as he continued to stir his pot. "I'm making chili. It'll be ready in about 30 minutes."

Will glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah, you were being an ass the entire time. I get you wanted to keep your secrets but still, you were an ass. No one likes it when people look down your nose at them. I didn't like it one bit. Look, I might have been a little harsh in giving you a week. Maybe I should have given you a month." It was the closest Will would get to an apology right now. He was still upset with Steve's attitude.