Closed Riding Solo (Closed w/ Lovebite)
#1
Tony had been putting off the appointment with his doctor for weeks now. Initially they'd done the fertilization session and made sure it was a success and then Tony had bailed - fast. It wasn't that he wanted to bail, he just didn't want to go back to the doctor's office either. He kept calling and rescheduling and eventually his doctor called him out on his shit and insisted she would come and see him since it looked like he simply didn't intend on coming to see her, but the moment that had happened, Tony had conveniently arranged for a trip to Hawaii for a week. Why? Did he need a reason why? Maybe he just wanted to relax... to relax in a place where his doctor wasn't able to get to him easily. That went on for some time - trips, vacations, business meetings - until the first day of the five month mark had rolled around; Tony still didn't know how many kids he was having, but all that mattered was that he could still fit in his suit. That was always fun.

He could get away most days with wearing some oversized sweater to hide the slight curve of his abdomen, and that was nice because he'd yet to come out publicly about it. Of course he'd informed his team, red-haired assassin and star spangled man and all, but the general public had no idea about his pregnancy, and honestly he doubted any would be sympathetic towards it after the recent events. Building a sentient being that went on to make their own army wasn't the best thing in the world.

For now, Tony stayed at home most of the time. No one bothered him too much although he knew he was going to have to face his doctor sooner than later. He was currently curled up on a couch messing around with his phone, reading a few bad pregnancy diseases and maybe freaking himself out a bit too much.
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#2
Natasha had gotten enough messages from Tony's paternity doctor, she had the most annoying voice in the world and she refused to have any more messages be sent to her phone from that woman. The secret agent buzzed Tony's penthouse then stepped back, slipping a hand into her jacket pocket and holding the bag of breakfast with her other arm. She wasn't looking to attack him instantly, only have a little chat at first, and if he didn't listen to reason, she wouldn't think twice about at least slapping some sense into him.

"Tony, I don't have time to just stand out here. Let me in."She spoke directly into the speaker, buzzing him again and frowning for a moment before adding,"I brought you food."She tilted her head with a bite of her lip, hoping that would get his ass up to unlock the door, pregnant or not.
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#3
Tony had heard the first few buzzes but only when he'd heard Natasba's voice as well did he gather some energy to turn over on the couch... and continue scrolling through his phone for a moment, finally getting up at the mention of food; that and because he didn't want to make Nat mad, of course. If there was anyone annoyed he didn't want to run into it was definitely her. Trudging his way over to the buzzer, Tony held the button for a moment before he spoke. "I swear if you brought spicy food just to spite me I'm kicking you out." Looking back to his phone, he scoffed lightly. "You can come up," he finished, waiting for her, or more accurately the food, to make her appearance.
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#4
Natasha opened the door,"You can try, blubber butt."She teased in reply,"I didn't bring you anything spicy anyway, it's barely after noon, what type of woman do you take me for?"She then passed through the door, heading inside towards the elevator and pressing the call button for it before stepping inside. Riding up to the top floor and stepping out again into the foyer of Starks penthouse, looking around then heading towards the sitting room with the bag of food. Taking her coffee out of it and then handing him the rest,"No caffeine for the pregnant guy, sorry. Your damn doctor keeps messaging me about you, like we're married and you're my responsibility."She huffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder,"You didn't tell her that we were married did you?"She rose an eyebrow and took a slow sip of coffee, crossing her free arm over her chest and holding the cup casually.
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#5
Tony meandered back over to the couch, sitting down once more and continuing to aimlessly look through his phone until he heard the door to the penthouse open. He looked up to find Natasha, and when she came to sit down and take out her coffee, he made a whiny noise in response. "So I can't have coffee but you're gonna bring some in for you?" He crossed his arms briefly. "And here I thought we were friends." His sweatshirt was large enough that there was barely any indication of his pregnancy which he was grateful for. If only all shirts did that. "No... But I think I put you down as my emergency contact a few times, alongside Rhodey." He snickered. "He's been telling me the same exact thing. The only advice I've got is to ignore her calls or block the number." He nodded approvingly. "Genius, right?"
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#6
Nat smiled crookedly,"You are correct."She nodded, chuckling as she took a seat in an armchair opposite him, crossing her legs,"If you want your kid to be a caffeine junky when they're born then be my guest, I just won't be to blame."She shook her head, sitting back as she sighed and ran a hand through her hair,"Tony, why have you been avoiding her?"Natasha barely knew why either way, it's not like Tony was an open guy even if she and Rhodey were his closest actual friends. She frowned disapprovingly, resting her coffee on her legs and looking to him,"... Are you, you know, okay?"She asked gently enough, she looked towards his middle slightly, not noticing anything different about him. Natasha slightly wondered if he was actually okay, it had been five months... You show when you're five months along right? Or maybe he was just small for his size,"Is the...the baby okay?"She asked further.
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#7
"If they come out caffeine addicted then I'll be sure to stamp right on the birth certificate that Natasha is to blame." He smiled wryly at the comment but shrugged at her next question. "I hate doctors," he said with distaste. But that wasn't even the truth. The truth was that he was beginning to regret this, and that it was embarrassing and a bit pathetic he was doing this all over the money in a will. The will had a ton of money connected to it, more than anyone would make in their lifetime really, but the only way he could procure it all was by having a kid? If his father knew him at all then he would probably know Tony wasn't father, or mother, material himself. Tony caught her gaze and pursed his lips for a moment. "Don't worry, it's there." He pressed against the fabric of his shirt to show the now obvious bump beneath the material. "Size XXXL shirts help. A lot." He frowned. "I think so? I've got no reason to believe it isn't. Or they aren't-" Tony rubbed at his temples. "I don't know how many I'm having."
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#8
Natasha huffed out a slight laugh, shaking her head at Tony's mention of her then taking in a slight breath,"Yeah? Well maybe you should have thought of that before you had yourself go through in vitro."She said,"You're a guy, you know how hard it is for guys to do this. It's okay to need help, Tony."She watched the look on his face and sat forwards as she placed the coffee down on the low table, sitting on the edge of her seat and folding her arms. For a moment she watched him, not mentioning anything, only listening to him then looking down to his middle again where there was a noticeable bump there. "You're lucky they seem to be a trooper."She mentioned, neither of them knew who the mother donor was but she must have been a strong woman, looking at his face again,"If you want this to work then get it together, Tony. If not, then go to that doctor and have her do something about it. No use suffering for either of you."She was serious in the fact,"You can't keep going like this."
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#9
"I can't even go out and party anymore," he joked, "so caffeine is the least of my qualms." Tony made a gesture with his hands. "See, that's the thing. I don't want it to work. After all that stuff with Ultron and what have you, you think people really think that that conceited billionaire definitely-not-a-genius can raise a kid? Or two? Or however many? And when the news gets out I'm just doing this for the will there'll be chaos." It was something about how the rich got richer but money was never a happiness factor for Tony. In fact, sometimes he wished he wasn't rich and he didn't have all the power he did because living a simple life in the suburbs with a plain old job sounded nice occasionally. If he didn't get the will, then it would sit there. He had plans to donate some of the money but there would always be people who disliked the fact he had vitro done just to get a few million dollars out of it. He didn't blame them. "I'll call her later, or tomorrow. I dunno. I'll see how it goes."
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#10
"Who needs partying when you have coffee?"Nat shook her head at that with a crooked smile,"Well, without partying, alcohol, or caffeine, your options are really narrowed for all that you have to do while this is going on."She went silent as he spoke, her brows furrowed and she looked at him for a while,"You're joking me."She placed her hands on her knees with a frown now, tilting her head,"Tony, you are not serious. You can't be."She scoffed,pushing a hand through her hair and looking down as she took a slow breath,"That's complete bullshit. You have this life...planted inside of you and you let it grow, but just because you change your mind later you just want to lose them? Fuck whatever anyone else thinks about this. It's your decision, Tony. This is your baby."She looked down and huffed, shaking her head again with a frown as she calmed down for a few moments then said,"No. Tony, you call her today, or no more snacks for you."She met his eyes.
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#11
"I mean I'm not going to get rid of it!" he protested. He didn't think he could even if he wanted to. It was against his beliefs, or maybe he simply didn't want to add more persons to the list of individuals he'd already offhandedly killed with his weapons. "Don't worry, I'll call her mom." Tony emphasized the last word in a joking tone and sat up a little, smoothing his shirt out gently. "You know I can still fit in the suits," he said jokingly, looking up to Natasha and hoping to get her focus on something else. "Maybe I need to make some kind of special pregnancy fat suit." Tony snorted and tipped his head. "It wouldn't be a bad investment." Tony casually pulled out his phone again, frowning at yet another missed call from the doctor on the front screen. "Right. This woman is obnoxious."
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#12
Natasha narrowed her eyes for a moment then sat back again with a huff, licking her lips and reaching to take a another sip of her coffee,"Fine. Fine. I'm not going to 'mom' you any more. Do whatever you feel like you should do, Stark."She shook her head, swallowing quietly as silence took up the conversation for a moment then he brought up still being able to fit into his suits,"Yeah?"She met his eyes, snorting softly when he spoke of a fat suit,"Maybe..."She shrugged, swirling around the warm liquid in her cup,"Maybe it is just one, I mean, you're still pretty slim. I couldn't even tell."She looked at him when he pulled out his phone, holding her tongue at the mention of the doctor and sighing,"Why not get Bruce to look after you then? You know he's a doctor too."
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#13
"I'll take that as a compliment," he said matter-of-factly, tipping his head towards Natasha. "The oversized shirts work wonders. You'd be surprised, I can't button up my tuxedos and stuff anymore." Which was terribly annoying and he didn't feel the need to buy more because soon enough this would be over and he wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant again. Tony pursed his lips for a moment at the last comment as he considered it. "Bruce is a busy man." And honestly, Tony didn't know if he wanted to bother Bruce so much about the fact. He didn't need to shove this pregnancy in everyone's face, but... he would prefer Bruce over the woman he currently had. "Does Bruce even know anything about babies or pregnancy though? The doctor now is like, certified in that. Bruce is cool and all but when the time comes, is he going to know how to pull out a baby?" Tony sat up some, the material of his shirt bunched around his swelled abdomen, more visible than it had been. "I think the main thing here is hat doctors are uh... Scary. When it involves another human sucking the life out of you."
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#14
She nodded simply in reply, snorting when he said that and shaking her head,"Uh- No. He isn't."She smiled slightly,"He'd be happy to have something to do. Ever since Ultron he's just been sitting around like the rest of us, doing nothing."She shrugged some, pulling out her phone and unlocking it as she brought up Bruce's files from her own personal information app,"Well, I mean you're a rookie at this too. Why not learn together?"She joked and tilted her head as she scrolled through the information with her thumb quietly, the woman's brows furrowed. Looking up at him,"You're full of jokes today."She sighed and shook her head,"You do remember why you have a hole where your heart used to be right? A doctor had to get the shrapnel out of your chest. What would happen if you didn't let them do their work because the infamous IronMan was-"She lifted her hands to make quotation marks with her fingers,"-scared."
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#15
"Oh yeah, let me just totally rely on Bruce when the kid gets stuck on its way out." Tony snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll see what he says. I'm still going to have to find someone qualified to help with the actual birth thing. I don't exactly wanna be running into the emergency room come a few months from now." He gestured to the room. "This place would work wonderfully if I can find the right person." Tony made a face at her last note. He clicked his tongue before drawing an index finger across his neck. "I'd have kicked the bucket. Dead. Six feet under." Tony inched back towards the armrest of the couch and leaned on it slightly. "It's not that I'm scared of doctors, I'm just more concerned because it doesn't only involve myself anymore." He raised a brow. "There's another life or two or whatever to worry about."
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#16
"Come on, I'm sure he knows how to deliver a baby. Why don't you just ask him? He wouldn't lie about something like this."Natasha looked at him in a knowing way,"Who really wants to put their hands anywhere near your ass for shits and giggles, Tony? Especially when something as...messy as childbirth is going on down there?"She offered a smile,"Hell, if he really needed to, I'm sure he's average at c sections too."She huffed, shaking her head at her own joking manner, knowing it wasn't something to be approaching in this way, considering how Tony was at the moment. The super spy sat back, crossing her legs the opposite way now and resting her coffee cup on her knee as she bit at her blood red lip for a moment. "Me then."She offered,"We'll go to the classes together and all that jazz, and then we deliver the baby- or babies- together. How about that?"
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#17
"Delivering a baby isn't something everyone knows how to do," Tony scoffed gently. No matter how many YouTube videos he liked to scare himself with of live births, no one alone would know what to do. Tony had been reassured his body would do the work but things could always very well go wrong, and then he'd be in deep shit. Not a nice place to be. "I can name a hundred people off the top of my head." Tony gave Natasha a look, smirking as he tapped his fingers against his arms. Natasha went on to mention something about a c-section and he made a face. He didn't want a cesarean if it came down to it. That was absolute last resort, which was why he wanted to push out whatever kid was inside him on the first try. Being spliced open just for an inheritance wasn't cool. Tony seemed surprised at her final statement and he found himself thinking over it. "Uh... I- well, if you want to." Classes weren't part of the plan at all and Tony wasn't sure if going to one of those was a good idea but it wasn't terrible, and he wasn't in the mood to argue. "Yeah. Okay. Still might need a doctor... If Bruce is alright with it then that's good with me."
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#18
"And yet people do it all the time."Natasha smiled slightly, laughing softly and shaking her head at Tony's playful reply,"That's something I didn't need to know."She said simply, looking down at her phone again when he made the face, which she didn't see,"Even if I didn't want to I would have offered still."She met his eyes and smiled,"You know I'm always there to distract you with some playful banter."She put her empty coffee cup down and nodded some,"Let's go pay Banner a visit then."She said, standing up and reaching out a hand to him to help him up,"Come on. Go get dressed."She urged.
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#19
"I know it. It's because you're kind and caring and love me so much." Tony grinned and stood up, looking towards Natasha curiously. "You know where he is, I suspect? Because I haven't a clue. I trust your super secret spy thing going on." Tony just hoped that Bruce would be okay with some of it, even if it was simply providing him prescriptions or whatever. Didn't pregnant people need vitamins or something? He'd been taking vitamins but they were the kiddy gummy chewable ones and he was pretty sure those weren't providing anything of use to him. Tony looked down at himself and scoffed. "Hey, this is appropriate attire. Casual wear, you know?" Overly large casual wear but casual wear nonetheless. "Hold on." Tony made his way back to his room and changed into pressed jeans and a shirt, a jacket unzipped for now over top. He stepped back out and clicked his tongue thoughtfully. "See, when I'm not wearing something four times my size it's pretty noticeable ain't it?" Tony gestured down to his abdomen which was much more visible with his normal sized shirts. He zipped up the jacket. "I can play it off as just getting fat still. I think."
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#20
Nat rolled her eyes at his first comment, then put her phone away into her pocket as she took her empty cup to throw it out,"Close enough."She replied,"Ready for a ride to L.A.?"She asked and then watched as he stood up, now getting a better idea of his outfit with a scowl,"No. Not at all. I never want to see you wearing anything like this ever again."She frowned and shooed him off when he turned to shuffle off into his room, waiting around with her hands in her pockets for the few moments it took him to redress into something more suitable. "Yes, very... You look in the cusp of fatherhood."She beckoned him,"Come. We have a plane to catch."She told him,"Unless you want to go on a road trip with a grumpy russian across country."She smirked at him, and pet his middle before turning and heading over to the front door.
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