Henry was quite reluctant to introduce the nurse but his job would prevent him from staying at home all the time, at least for this first week. Besides, the nurse would be helpful in helping to feed and change their babies. He nodded at Sam's questions. "Yes you need to take plenty of rest and to make sure the baby had sufficient time to implant itself securely. in short, don't get off bed unless for the toilet." He was feeling jealous towards the nurse as Sam would definitely need her help when he went to the toilet, but there's no other way until Henry could sort out his arrangements in work.
THe first few days past in relevant peace. Henry would return to home and ask about Sam and also consult the opinion of the nurse. He would kiss the babies goodnight before returning to their shared bed and massage Sam's feet and body that's sore from a whole day of bedrest. It was all for the child's sake though, and Henry knew Sam wouldn't complain at all.
Sam was smiling at his husband as he massaged his feet then his body. He felt bad sometimes when Sam couldn't do anything, especially with the sex time that Henry always liked the most. He rested his head on Henry's chest as they both were on the bed, talking before sleep. "Henry, I know that it 's hard for you to hold you desire. I don't mind if sometimes you'll go to ...." Sam couldn't say another word. "You know what I mean, right? I was my duty to pleasure you, but I can't now and it doesn't mean I don't love you." He whispered, holding Henry's hand tightly. Sam loved his husband more his felling, so it was fine if Henry would do something for his desire.
"I'll go to what?" Henry asked, not getting what Sam was trying to say. He had been jerking off himself, yes, he did have his desire, but it wasn't possible for him to penetrate Sam now and he wouldn't want to bring any distress to his wife. "IT's the same for you. You are holding back your desire so it would only be fair for me to be holding back mine. It's all for our babies, just as you endured the boredom and the restriction of bed rest." He kissed Sam gently as he squeezed his hand back. "So what's that you are trying to say?" He asked, curious.
Sam smiled widely and gave Henry a soft kiss. "Nhh, nothing much haha. I just mean the place that you can get someone who can respond your desire. You know. I can't do that for months, but if you say so., we'll do this together like other times in the past." He said, hugging his husband so tight. "You make me love you, even more, every day, Henry. I was sure I couldn't love you more, but you finally did it in every day. You're the best" He smiled, yawning as it was quite late, but Sam had never bored talking with his husband.
(move to quarrel soon?)
(i see the start of a quarrel already! IS sam suggesting Henry to go find a prosttitue or a casual one night stand here? how about Henry discovering Sam went to check on the boys this exact night?)
Henry was puzzled and frowned hard at Sam's suggestion as he finally got it. He wasn't expecting this and it annoyed him a little that Sam though he couldn't hold on his desire and was hinting him to cheat on him, to cheat on his pregnant wife. He would be a scumbag if he did so. However, looking at Sam's serene smile he didn't want to spoil the night and let it silde. He would be mentioning about this again later, after Sam's condition stabled further.
That night, Henry woke up to an empty bed. His heart skipped a beat imagining all the horrible things. Would Sam be having another bleeding? WHere had he gone? The toilet door was opened and he couldnt see him anywehre in the room. Panicking, he hopped down the bed and started searching.
(Wow that will hurt Sam so much. lol)
Sam woke up by hearing the twins were crying so loud from the another room. He couldn't hold his feeling for that long time. His heart was hurt hearing that sound. He took a little time to think about it and finally decided to leave the bed. Henry was sleeping, he would not tell this to his husband and also asked the babysitter to do that so. He tried to walk slowly although it wasn't far, Sam took a little time to get to the twins' room. He then carried one of the twins up and fed him with his milk. It was the worst if Henry found him at this time, but Sam couldn't resist to do it.
(In fact Henry's heart is pretty delicate as well so he would consider the suggestion from Sam to be unacceptable ;))
Henry's heart stopped pounding like crazy when he saw Sam, but he soon found himself quite furious seeing what he was doing. Standing, breastfeeding, everything that's against his orders, doctor's orders. He silently watched from the door. He was angry with Sam, yes, but he didn't want to scare him, nor the baby. He waited with a patience he didn't have. A small part of him was waiting to see how far Sam would take against his orders, if he would sit down to feed James, or would he feed Harry as well. He could feel his insides boiling and the scary scenes from that fateful night when they lost one of their child kept on replaying in his mind.
(Haha It is so hurt if his husband accept that suggestion lol)
Sai hadn't realized anything. He barely remembered the orders from his husband. He was standing almost all of the time, just sat after he finished feeding his twins. He took only around 30 mins for that, but it was too much for his husband. He rested a bit on the couch before he left the room, heading back to the bedroom. His heart had fallen as he saw his husband was standing in front if the door. He tried to make everything normal, but it was hard. "H....Hey, H...henry, please listen to me" He said, trembling as he could see how his husband was angry. it was all his fault and he couldn't reject anything.
"Are you planning to continue stay on your feet? Even now, after you feed our sons against my explicit orders? Is it because I am also your husband, that you disregarded my words? Those are doctor's orders. If it woudln't affect your health, and our baby's, i wouldnt be suggesting them. Now get back to bed." he said coolly as he looked at Sam, turmoil in his eyes. His insides was boiling with anger and he was very frustrated with the situation. Something deep within him, the hurt over their lost baby, the annoyance of discovering his wife disobeying him multiple times, and also his suggestion just now hinting for his unfaithfulness, was breaking through now, making even more furious.
"No, Henry, please, I didn't mean that way. I didn't disregard because you're my husband. I just can't hear that sound for tat long. I know I did it for many times, but I didn't want this to happen. We lose our baby and I know that hurts" He said, trying to make everything better, but it seemed worse when he said about his lost baby. Sam didn't realized that who was the one who saw the babies whil he was passing out, and who was the one always blamed himself about everything. He didn't walk any more steps, just stood in front of his husband, didn't know how to handle with this.
(it'll be hurt when Henry blame him about their lost baby, ut I love it lol)
"yes we lost our baby. And you still didn't learn anything from it. You are risking our remaining baby. Is it you didn't care about that fragile life in you now? Did you ever think about it? If you don't want it, just tell me. I would rather NOT go over that panic and pain again. You know how much it hurt to... see.... " Henry couldn't continue, recalling the tiny little fetus that was just starting to look like a baby. His eyes moistened up recalling that horrible bloodloss and the little life, gone in front of his own eyes. He didn't show it to Sam, but that scene had haunted him night after night. "Stand for however long you want. I wouldn't tell you anything from now on. It wouldn't have matter whatever I say. Come to think of it, you had been asking the babysitter away right? I have asked her myself. That last month, you had again asked her not to come. Great. Do as you see fit." Henry turned around, he couldn't face his wife now or he would say something he might regret later.
Sam had regretted everything he did after that words from his husband. He finally fell down on the floor, following that words. "I....I,m sorry, please d...don't leave me alone, at least for now, H...Henry" His voice was trembling with lots of tears ran down from his eyes. He knew that everything was his fault, but at least, he wanted his husband to stay there. Sam didn't care if Henry would blame more about that, but he just wanted him to be there. "I know, I shouldn't have more of them. I can't even do your order. I'm sorry" It looked so bad, but Sam was holding Henry's legs with his both hands. He didn't mean to make Henry pity by that look, but he could everything now to hold his husband as long as he could.
The pleading Sam made Henry lifted up his face and closed his eyes. Perhpas he had been unfair towards Sam but his wife was just too stubborn. To think he had feed BOTH babies, completely disregarded his words, and what's more, the hinting before.... "Sam. Tell me, what you have suggested before, asking me to go somewhere that have someone to satsify my needs. Are you implying that i find a prostitute or a one night stand?" He finally asked, he didn't even dare to look at Sam's face as he asked. That was the ultimate challenge and insult to him and his integrity. He just wanted to confirm that since now all their negative emotions were out.
Sam tried his best to stop crying although it was too had by Henry not facing his face. "N...no, Henry. Please, that's my true feeling. I know how you need to handle your desire. since I couldn't offer that for you at my late stage of previous pregnancy, it was hard for me to think about it, and now I couldn't do it again for months, so It's just something I can do for you, Henry. I love you more than everything. If it helps, I would allow you to have one night stand although it hurts me so much. Please just stay here for this time." Sam said, with lots of tears on his face. "You already hate me now? I can understand it , Henry.ot's all my fault"
Being so angry Henry turned out laughing out loud. "Ha, so that's your way so saying you love me, by encouraging me to go out and seek for one night stands? Great! I had never before know that's how you treated marriage. How you treated the sacred vows we made on our wedding day. You didn't seem to even care about my faithfulness, why would you care about my words. Goodnight Sam, I think i only get to know you finally this night, after 5 years of marriage and 4 children together." Henry said, he was so angry he just blurted out whatever he could think of, not caring about anything now. Sam had broken his heart, added to the stress of taking care of him and the danger of another miscarriage always hovering over them, Henry just exploded.
"So, It's fine to know how you've misunderstood me. It's fine if you want to divorce. There is no reason to live with someone who didn't believe the sacred vows, right? just 5 years didn't make we know each other well enough, right? time to walk aways?" Sam had said that words with all his broken heart. He couldn't help his mind anymore. It was worst that anything. He released his hands from Henry' letting him god at the moment he wanted. "Al least, I will follow
your order, It may be the last thing I can do for you" Sam tried to stand slowly. He had almost fallen for many times, but finally stood. He walked slowly, trying to keep his balance to the bedroom
(Wow new profile. New style as well?)
Henry's heart was shattered even more with how easily Sam had said "divorce". Perhpas he had been a little harsh, but right this momen Henry was just too angry to do anything. He needed some time alone, to think this over with. Deep down, he understand the motherly instinct for Sam to take care of the twins, and perhaps he hadn't stressed enough on how delicate a situation Sam was in now, always making it sound trivial and light to not make Sam worry too much. For now, however, he went downstairs with his car keys. He opened the door, about to go on a drive, but he was too worried about Sam that he only sighed and sat down on the couch, ready for a sleepless night here, alone in the living room. He wasn't aware Sam thought he had went out, and was probably even more devastated by his leaving.
(Haha thanks. I didn't like it much as the carrier is really big build, but he has a ferfect belly and it's characters from my favorite anime)
Sam was about to die in this moment. His heart had broken again. I reminded him the last time when his ex-boyfriend kicked him out of his life. He might be back to live side of the stree again, but I was no reason to live with someone who didn't love him anymore. He couldn't even remember what he said with his husband. He cried so hard after he got back to their rooom. Many things in the room reminded him how they loved each other, wedding photo on the shelt, family photo and the locket the he gave Henry on his birthday. Everything seemed to no meaning at all. Sam grabbed the locket on from the table and hugged it on his heart. The words "You are my everything" made he cry even harder. Is that a lying? There were many questions in Sam's head now. He couldn't even sleep till the morning.
(Yes i thought so! the carrier's so big... not really your style ;) well, i had to agree that belly's quite perfect)
Henry was tired and agitated the next morning. He considered whether he should just leave for work but he was still wearing pajamas. In the middle of the night, he had went into the nursery to look at the boys. That was why he had done the feedings at night and early in teh morning. Now with the babies all set and changed, he hesitated in front of the door. Henry pushed open teh door slightly, he knew Sam wouldn't be sleeping, but he couldn't face his wife who had threatened him with divorce just last night. He opened the wardrobe silently and took out a bag, packing several days of clothes before turning to leave.
Sam didn't know how to react when his husband got into the room. Henry seemed to be angry so much. His heart was broken again as he could see the Henry would go out with lots of clothes. He knew that he couldn't stop his husband, but Sam just needed to say something. "H...Henry. I know that is too much for you. I know that I may be back to the street someday, but at least can you keep this for me?" He handed the locket that had the words "You are my everything" on the back. "It's fine if you don't wanna see our pic inside, but That words, please believe me that it's true since we has met until now and it'll be true till I die." Sam didn't say anything after that. He just tried to not cry out loud again.